I Fall Apart

Nora

I collapsed onto my bed, running my hand through my hair.  My Aunt Shannon had come out of the woodwork randomly.  I didn't remember much about her, but she didn't seem mean or anything.  I wondered how much she was like my mother.  I'd seen some pictures of her, and she looked very similar to my mom.  It would be weird seeing her now that Mom was gone.

She hadn't even come to Mom's funeral.  I assumed they'd lost touch and they weren't close.  However, I basically had no connection to one half of my whole family.  It was ironic, really.  I didn't know Dad or his side of the family for thirteen years, and now they were my whole world.  My heart felt a pull to my Aunt Shannon.  I bet she could tell me stories about Mom I didn't know.

It needed some more thought.  I wasn't going to contact her today.  I opened up my backpack and pulled out my planner, then got down to business.  My mind became lost in history, math, science.  Before I knew it, Vanessa knocked on my door to tell me dinner was ready.

I realized I was ravenous, so I gladly put my work aside to join the family.  I could tell Dad wanted to ask me what I was thinking, and I honestly didn't really know yet.  I needed to sleep on it.  Maybe twice.

I helped clean up the dishes and load the dishwasher and Dad helped.

"Do you know how long my Aunt Shannon is in town?" I asked him.

"No I don't," he told me.  I assumed it wasn't a quick visit.  I wasn't sure what Aunt Shannon even did for a living; if she was married or had kids.

"I don't know what to do yet," I told him, knowing he was wondering.

"That's okay," he assured me.  "It's a big decision.  Take your time."

We finished cleaning up and I sighed, knowing I still had a lot of work ahead of me.  I excused myself and got back to the grind.  Finally, around 9:30, I was done.  Not completely done with my make-up work but on track to get it done on time.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face, and ran into Vanessa out in the kitchen when I went to get some water.

"Lin told me about your aunt," she said, leaning against the counter.  "You wanna talk about it at all?"

I shrugged as I got out a glass.  "I'm not sure what to do yet.  I'm kind of tempted to meet her since I don't know anyone else in my mom's family.  But I'm worried she'll be a mess."

Vanessa nodded in understanding.  "Family's important," she acknowledged.  "You're right, you don't have any other connections to your mom's family."

"I feel like it would be a shame not to see her," I admitted.  "She lives in Chicago, so it's not like she would be around all the time."

"Very true," she said.  "I think you're doing the right thing.  You're thinking things through.  That's very grown up of you."

I smiled a little at her compliment.  I knew I sometimes made some brash, dumb decisions, but I knew this was really important.

"Well, I'm going to bed," I told her, opening my arms for a hug.  Vanessa gave me a kiss on the cheek and I disappeared to my room.  I opened up my cell phone and hopped on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram to see if she was on there at all.  She wasn't.  It would've been nice to learn a .

The next day, I saw Aaron in the hallway.  He was smirking at me, thinking he'd gotten the best of me.  While he'd hurt me, I honestly didn't care what his friends thought of me.  They were all like me.  As he passed me, I heard him whisper, "tease".

I turned around and shoved him from behind.  Hard.  He stumbled and caught himself on a locker.  He'd forgotten who he was dealing with.  Did he really think he could intimidate me?  He obviously hadn't grown up where I had.  I smiled to myself as I continued down the hallway.  I doubted he would be messing with me any more.