I Fall Apart

Lin

I closed the front door behind me and locked it. I couldn't quite keep up with Nora after she'd started running up the stairs. I'm not quite sure what had happened, but she was obviously upset. The kid was a puzzle lately, on top of being a teenage girl. Had my sister been this emotional? I didn't remember this much drama. I let her be, knowing she wouldn't want to talk to me, whatever it was.

I really wasn't sure what to do with Nora. I knew she was hurting from her mother's death. It was confusing for her. She loved her mother, of course, but they had a tumultuous relationship. Her mom was volatile, and it got in the way of her being a mother. I think Nora craved having a normal mom; someone she fought with over what she was wearing. Not someone she had to call 911 on for passing out drunk.

If Laura was still alive, their relationship would have continued to be volatile for the rest of their lives. It was just how Laura was. Though she may try, I don't think Laura was capable of really changing. She was a mess, and she was making her daughter a mess. Thank goodness she'd only had one kid.

I looked over at Francisco, playing with some blocks on the floor. He was born with every advantage. He was American and his parents were married and employed. He had a loving extended family. He would never have to worry about his next meal. Anything he needed I could buy for him. Francisco was given a strong start that many kids didn't get, including Nora. She was playing catch-up.

After a quiet dinner, Vanessa tried to go talk to Nora, but she wasn't really talking to her either. At least she'd talked to the therapist today. As long as she talked to someone and didn't hold it in, I was okay. As her father, I knew she wouldn't tell me everything. At least not at this age. I was bummed that I'd missed out on her early years when she was no doubt a non-stop chatterbox. I would bet she was an over-sharer as a young child.

The next day, she again went straight to her room when she got home from school. I let her go, not wanting to pry. I knew she wasn't my biggest fan at the moment. But, that was regular teenage stuff.

Around dinner time, Sebastian was running up and down the hall being goofy. It wasn't bothering anything and it got some of his energy out, so I just let him be. He started opening and closing the doors, giggling.

"Daddy, there's a boy in Nora's room!" He called. I heard footsteps and then the door slammed. Sebastian started crying. I sighed and put my laptop to the side to go see what the problem was. Sebastian was on the floor, having apparently been knocked onto his bottom. I picked him up and pushed Nora's door open. There was a young man stepping his leg out of the window onto the fire escape.

"Shit," I heard Nora said.

"Shit!" Sebastian repeated. I put my hand over his mouth and shooshed him.

"Get back in here," I ordered the kid. He decided not to make a run for it and came back in. It was someone I'd never seen before. He looked a couple years older than Nora.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"Uhhh...Justin?"

"You're not sure?" I asked, readjusting Sebastian on my hip.

"No," he said, obviously flustered. He pushed the beanie on his head back into place. "I'm sure. Justin."

"I'm Nora's father," I told him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Umm..." he glanced at Nora and she avoided looking at him. "I just stopped by for a few."

"And you don't use front doors?" I clarified. He looked at me and shrugged, at a loss for words. "Who are you parents?"