I Fall Apart

Nora

The girl I'd been paired up with, Anne Marie, was fourteen and from Albany.  As far as other kids went, she was okay.  I wouldn't be best friends with her, but she was the least offensive person there.  Some of them were obnoxious and annoying.  At least she was relatively quiet and didn't irk me.

Because there was no other choice, we paired up for a lot of things. In the afternoons, we had some free time, and most days we decided to head down to the lake.  We hiked down with our swimsuits on underneath our clothes, chatting on the way.

"You ride the subway to school?" she asked me, amazed.

"Yeah," I said, not seeing the big deal.  "That's the way you travel in New York City.  Above ground is nuts."

"Do you have a pass or something?"

"We have a Metro card.  My parents just add money to it."

"Parents?  I thought your mom died?"

Talking about dead parents was nothing here.  Everyone was in the same position.

"My bio mom," I explained.  "My dad is married so I have a stepmom."

"I wish my dad would get remarried," she said as we walked through the trail.

"Why?"

"He just seems lonely," she said.  "Plus then maybe he'd leave me alone."

"I hear you on that," I commented.  "How long ago did your mom die?"

"Two years," she said.  "Cancer.  So at least I got to say goodbye to her.  But in some ways it was worse."

"How so?"

"Well, I had to see her go downhill.  She had cancer for a year.  She just kept wasting away and it was awful.  No one knew what to say to me."

"I hate that," I agreed.  "When my mom died I got so tired of hearing 'sorry to hear about your mom'.  What good does that do?"

"Yeah, I got to deal with that too," I told her as we reached the boat house.  There were a couple picnic tables where other kids had already put their towels and clothes.  We started tugging off our shorts and tank tops, and flip flops.  At first, swimming in the lake seemed disgusting, but I got used to it.

We stepped into the shallow end and let our shoulders sink beneath the water.  It just felt nice to be in the coolness.  We grabbed a couple noodles floating nearby and just hung out and talked.

"Do you have brothers and sisters?" I asked her.

"Two brothers," she said.  "Both older.  They're juniors.  Twins."

"Do you get along?"

"For the most part," she said.  "They fight a lot, though.  How about you?"

"Two little brothers," I said, smiling as I thought about them.  "Well, half brothers, technically.  They're really sweet."

"How old are they?"

"Francisco is two and Sebastian is five."

"Those are cute names."

"Yeah," I agreed.  "Dad's family is from Puerto Rico so they had to choose ethnic names."

"That's cool.  Did you visit Puerto Rico growing up?"

"No," I said, resting my chin on the noodle.  "I didn't know my dad til I was thirteen."

"Wow, really?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.  "My mom was pretty independent.  Dad didn't know about me.  When my mom got arrested, they found him.  So, I had to start living with him full time right away."