Uncovered - A Shadowhunters Fanfiction

A Step on the Edge

JORDYN'S POV 

Maryse agreed with us that she had to tell Izzy and Jace, after all this girl was a part of all of them, Lightwood by blood or not. They'd all been robbed of a sibling and no one would feel that burden more than them, especially Alec. He disappeared after Maryse left my view and I eventually found him residing on the ledge that surrounded the roof of the Lightwood Mansion. I made my way over to join him. 

We didn't say anything at first. I sat down beside him and watched him shift as he realised who it was, still no words from either of us, not like we knew what to say to one another anyway. The Mansion had the best view of the Glass city, second to none since both the Wayland and Fairchild Manors were never rebuilt, it's one of the oldest homes left standing on the hill and the witchlight is evident from every street. Whether it be the street lit passageways or stunning shop windows, or even just the shallowing darkness of Lake Lyn reflecting the moonlight in the distance, Idris was stunning.

I sat with one leg hanging over the wall completely unfazed by high up I was and I rested on both hands behind me, watching the blued eyed Lightwood in front of me. "I nearly forgot how beautiful the city is at night, and I thought New York and Paris were glowed in the dark."

"It's a trick." Alec finally spoke and looked directly at me, "The overwhelming lights make the darkness underneath harder to spot." I knew exactly what he meant. You spend too much time in places like this and the darkness beneath the light becomes a part of why you enjoy the lights. It becomes a challenge for you to seek out the worst parts of yourself so you do it anyway, you enjoy figuring out your own darkness that eventually it can consume you whole. I like to think I'm not quite there yet.

"But easier to get through." I point out, "You'll feel better Alec. I promise, nothing lasts forever. Despair, lonliness, anger. They all fade eventually." I say as I watch the demon towers glow in the distance. "And you?" Alec asks causing me to turn to face him, "Has your anger disappeared? Your Despair? Lonliness?" 

I sigh in response, "I don't remember the first time I felt like that, but I do know it's became more of a routine now, it's not fun anymore." 

"Fun?" Alec questions in confusion and partial humour, "How does feeling isolated and hurting others ever seem fun?" 

I laugh in response, "Because I like to think I am always being told what to do, at least when I'm lonely and angry I am by choice, not by consequence or other people's actions." 

"I always felt lonely." Alec says as he watches the towers alongside me, "Even when Jace arrived at the Institute I was grateful but suddenly there was someone else that out shone me, the golden angel standing alongside Izzy, the rebel princess, and in front of me, the silver raven." 

I moved closer to Alec as an offering of some comfort, "I happen to think Silver looks way prettier than Gold anyway, silver is a more cold colour, I guess I relate to it more." 

"You're trying to make me feel better." 

"I'm simply making conversation." I mock and Alec nudges me lightly, which I overdramatised of course, "If you push me off here this conversation still isn't over." We both laugh and I rest my hand on Alec's knee, "How are you feeling? Honestly?" 

He looked up in slight frustration, "Like I failed her, Annalisa. Like all this time she could've been dead or she could be out there suffering and I had no idea." 

"You had Valentine to deal with for a long time, she couldn't blame you Alec. You didn't even know." 

"But my father did." He said in annoyance, "How does he live with himself knowing he abandoned his own daughter? And Mom? Why didn't she tell us sooner? Regardless of what happened to Max we deserved to know what happened."