Roxanne & Jax

12

Roxanne

"Hey?" Jaxon says quietly, placing his hand on my knee. "I need to know where I am going?"

I nod my head, quickly putting the address into the GPS before sinking back into my seat. I bring my knees up to my chest and lean my forehead against the cool glass of the tinted window, watching as everything begins to blur as the truck picks up speed. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jaxon asks, his voice still quiet and soft. It's like he's scared that just the question will break me. 

And maybe it will. 

"No," I reply, the word coming out thick with emotion. 

And I don't. My mother is a sensitive topic for me. She left my brother and I years ago, choosing drugs over us. She had always had a problem, but Dad thought that his love and us kids would make her stop. 

But it didn't. Well, it did for a few years. After losing her brother when the Angel's raided us fifteen years ago, she lost it. She went back to her old ways. She started with cocaine but quickly switched to Heroin when her funding dried up. I remember finding the needles hiding in different places. Nearly pricked myself with one when I went to put my shoe on once. 

Dad lost it on her. 

Sighing, I allow the last memory of her to play in my mind 

"I can't keep doing this, Sadie! I can't keep coming home, wondering whether or not I will find you dead on the floor!" My father yells at my mother, who is swaying back and forth. Her black hair is tied into a loose bun with pieces falling into her eyes and her usually perfect face is marked with cuts and bruises. I don't ask how she gets them. 

"You knew what you were getting into when you married me, William." She slurs, trying to push past him, but he stops her by grabbing her bicep. 

"This isn't the girl I married, Sadie." He tells her. "The girl I married was a partier, yes, but she was never a junkie."

My mom shakes her head. "You just didn't see the truth."

"Sadie...I need you to go to rehab."

"No!"

"If you want to stay here with me and the kids, that's what you need to do."

"I won't go." She says, ripping her arm from him. "I won't."

"Come on, Sadie. Think about this." Dad pleads, his voice raspy with emotion. 

"No! I won't be sent away!" She says as she grabs her purse.

"Sadie-"

"I said no, Goddammit!" She yells as she storms off towards the front door. 

"Sadie, don't leave! We need to talk about this!"

"No, William." She states. "I'm not going to change. This is who I am and if you can't accept it, then I'm not staying."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Mom?" I say, stepping out of the shadows.

"Shit, Roxy. Go back to bed, baby." My dad says, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I pull away and step towards my mother. "Are you really going to leave us?"

She doesn't bother answering - nor does she even bother looking at us - before opening the door and slamming it shut behind her.