Roxanne & Jax

20

Jax

"I really do love you," She says softly before she opens the door to the bar. 

"Your brother is dead. Axel killed him. May want to relay that message to your father." I blurt out, watching her freeze in her tracks. 

She bites her lip and nods her head. I watch her exit the bar and just before the door closes, I say "I love you too."

I don't know why I said those words, but they slipped out before I could even think about it. If she heard them, she didn't react. I expected her to come running back to me, but she doesn't. She just disappears. 

And never in my life have I felt so lost - not even when dad was killed. I knew where I belonged then. I knew I had to lead my brothers. I knew who I needed to be. I knew the role I had to replace. 

But, now. I don't know. Nothing is clear to me right now. My future is just a big huge blur. It's like she took everything with her when she stepped out of that door. 

My entire being is screaming at me to stand and follow her. Fuck everything. Fuck who her father is. Fuck what she did. I need her. I need her to live.

But, I know that's impossible. I have a club to run. I have brothers to take care of. The Sons of Silence depend on me to lead them the right way and following after the spawn of the man who killed their President - my father - is just an awful idea. I know that there will be hell to pay if I ever did that. No one would accept her. 

Axel would probably kill her.

Bang.

Speaking of.

"You let her walk?!" He demands, storming in. I stand, expecting a fight. "How could you let her fucking walk, man?"

"I couldn't kill her."

He laughs angrily. "Well, no fucking shit. You should have let me do it if you couldn't, asshole."

I shake my head.

"You are fucking losing it, Jaxon. These men," He gestures to the club. "Rely on you to make these decisions. They have expectations of you that you aren't fucking meeting! You should have killed her! She betrayed you! She betrayed us!"

"I couldn't do it!"

"Then you should have asked me! I would have gladly ended her without even hesitating!"

"You-"

"Boss!" Ryder yells as he runs into the bar. His eyes dart between Axel and me before stopping at me. "We found the mole."

"What fucking mole?" I ask looking at the both of them. Ryder is beaten to a pulp and Axel refuses to look at him. Remind me to ask about that later. 

"Of course we found the fucking mole, but this idiot let her go," Axel says, pointing over his shoulder at me.

Ryder shakes his head. "No, man," He says. "It wasn't Roxy."

I furrow my brows in confusion, my heart stopping. "Then who was it."

"You wouldn't fucking believe me." 

"Try me."

He nods to the door, asking me to follow him and I quickly oblige. "The fucking rat has been hiding under our nose the entire time, boss." He says, leading me to the back of the bar. When we round the corner, I see three of my men standing over someone whose face is hidden by a brown bag. "Remove it, Dennis."

Dennis nods his head and rips the bag from the traitor's head revealing none other than Slade.

"What the fuck?" I say in disbelief as I look at the badly beaten face of my prospect. "Are you fucking kidding me, Ryder?"