kelsey
i took the bus home and sobbed in my bed. i was beginning to really like joey, not only was he my first ever friend, he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and my first love. but now, hes broken me, shattered me into a million pieces and now i dont know what to do. my literal heart is aching and my head hurts so bad.
i keep thinking about killing myself but then joey would think it was his fault and hate himself and as much as i despise him right now, i could never build up the courage to do that to him.
my phone buzzed so i picked it up and joey had sent a long paragraph:
hey im so sorry kelsey, i never ever meant to hurt you in anyway... you mean everything to me and i dont want to lose you. i didnt tell everyone about your dad but i did tell lena when her and i were dating because i actually thought she was an okay person. her telling the entire school was so wrong and im beyond sorry for that. also, i dont know what came over me in the hallway today, people picking on you really bothers me and i didnt think phil would stop if i just told him to. i didnt mean to scare you and im sorry if i did. i dont want you to forgive me because i dont deserve it but i also dont want you to be sad over me. maybe you were right all this time, you always said this relationship wouldnt work because of you but that part was wrong. its all because of me, im a fuck up and i keep pushing you to date me when you probably dont want to. so you dont have to reply or talk to me ever again just please dont, you know, be sad or anything else because you deserve the world kelsey and i know that youre gonna go places just please forget about me. im sorry for everything.
at this point my eyes were flooded with tears. ive realized that i can forgive him 1000 times before i could hate him.
joey i could never forget about you or hate you or anything. the things you have done were wrong but everyone makes mistakes and all i can think about as im laying here crying is how much i want to hug you. although you did fuck up, you were my only friend and my first love so please dont hate yourself. and if you do hate yourself, just know that i love you.
im so sorry
i forgive you, mcdonalds?
he never answered but a couple minutes later my doorbell rang and i opened it to see him with bloodshot eyes and two brown bags with big yellow 'M's on them.
i pulled him into a hug and sobbed into the crook of his neck. he walked into the house with me still clinging onto him and put the bags down on the island in the kitchen. then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. i sobbed and he pulled us onto the couch and laid down, we both started to calm down and as soon as we did we started eating. this. is. so. good.
