kelsey
at school i didnt see joey at all. he mustve stayed home sick. jack apologized to me again in culinary. its not that big a deal to me though, the kiss meant shit and i felt nothing. he didnt know that i was dating joey.
after school i went straight to joeys, i knocked on the door and no one answered so i got the key from under the mat and went inside.
"joey?" i called out but he didnt answer. i walked up the stairs and knocked on his door.
"what?" he said.
"its kels can i come in?"
"yeah..."
i opened the door and he was laying in bed. he looked really pale.
"are you sick?" i asked.
"yeah. ive been throwing up all day." he shivered.
"im sorry baby." i pouted putting my hand on his forehead to feel how hot he was.
there was something about the way he looked at me that just wasnt the same. theres something really wrong.
"jo?" i asked.
"mm?"
"whats wrong with you?"
"im sick and tired." he said in a 'duh' tone.
"no i mean... you arent acting the same, whats going on? please tell me." i sighed.
he sighed, "i cant tell you.."
"joey you can tell me anything-"
"no. its not because- its because i dont want to... i dont trust you..."
"w-what?" i stuttered.
"i saw you- i saw you and jack kiss yesterday on your porch..." he shook, "im gonna-" he threw up in the bucket next to him. "my life was already fucked up. im weak from my knees down and i cant feel my body. i loved you... i really did."
"joey.." i sighed.
"you dont have to explain. if i wasnt good enough then i have to let you go right? thats what you do when you love someone so much..." he sat up.
i poured his puke in the toilet and flushed it, then i started to clean the bucket.
"kelsey?" he asked, waiting for an answer.
i placed the bucket down next to his bed and sat on the bed. i grabbed his hands.
"i cant hate you." he said, almost crying. he croaked, "no matter how much i try. i fucking cant hate you kelsey." i started crying also.
"joey i didnt cheat on you." i gulped. "he kissed me and i pulled away right after. he didnt know i had a boyfriend. im sorry you saw that."
"call him." he said.
"huh?"
"pretend im not here. i want to know that he knows the kiss meant nothing." he shivered.
i picked up my phone and called jacks number.
"yo." he answered.
"hey jack, can you just resay what i said to you after you kissed me. i just wanna make sure you understand clearly." i held my knee to my chest and put my phone on my knee.
"well... you rejected me because you had a boyfriend that you really love. you told me that the kiss meant nothing. i wanna apologize again though, i really didnt know you were in a relationship, otherwise i wouldnt of kissed you."
"thank you bye." i said.
"okay." joey said.
"tell me whats going on..." i asked, "you arent the same and i know its not just jack..."
"my dad." he sighed, "he wanted to take full custody of me. i HATE him. if he does gain custody, my sisters will hate me because theyve always wanted a relationship with him and the one kid who doesnt like him will get that chance. he cheated on my mom..."
"oh my god..." thats why he freaked out so hard when he thought i cheated. "im sooo sorry."
"i dont know what to do with myself. i cant think straight."
"why dont you wanna move in with him, besides the fact that he cheated on your mom?"
"he lives in san francisco [they live in nc] and thats so far away from you and my family... also hes just a bad guy and i dont want a relationship with anyone who treated my mom like garbage."
"joey... if you move to san francisco, ill sell my house and buy one there. besides, youll be 18 in may and then you get to decide where you live. yeah hes bad but i think you can handle it, youre the strongest guy i know." i smiled, rubbing his shoulder.
"youre right but i still feel like shit." he shivered.
"first of all, you need to cry." i sighed, "stop holding it in."
"im not gonna cry in front of you." he said.
"joey... stop being dramatic."
seeing joey cry is one of the saddest things ive ever witnessed. he doesnt make a facial expression, tears just flow out of his eyes with the occasional sniffle or breath. its so upsetting.
i hugged him and he sniffled into my chest. i gave him a head massage and then i said down as he laid on my thighs.
"joey you need to eat something also. eggs and bacon?" i asked.
"i love you." he smirked.
a smirk? old joey?
i kissed his lips and smiled, "i love you more."
