kelsey
i got home and could not stop crying. i lost my virginity, to a complete jerk and i didnt even wanna lose it. joey was always so excited to finally have sex with me and i wanted my first time to be with him.
i took a picture of the side of my eye and posted it on my story. this is probably the most extra thing but honestly i dont care.
5 minutes later i got a text from joey.
joey
kelsey please talk to me i know somethings going on. if i did this to you im sorry...
kelsey
its not you joey, im fine goodnight💗
joey
you clearly arent fine i saw your story
right after this i deleted the picture immediately.
kelsey
im fine.
im not fine. part of me wants him to leave me alone so i can get over this on my own. the other half of me wants him to come over anyway and pour my heart out to him.
joey
im coming over
kelsey
why joey im FINE i promise. i can take care of myself.
joey
did something happen at the party?
i gulped and a tear slipped my eye.
kelsey
no stay home joey im going to sleep anyway.
joey
okay im coming over tomorrow at 12
kelsey
why it was so easy for you to leave me alone tonight at the party why cant u leave me alone when i actually want you to?
joey
is that why youre so upset? because i didnt go to the party tonight? im sorry that i dont really like charles that much and he uses me for girls attention and hes a bad guy and i dont wanna be seen as that! why cant you just ever listen to me and we couldve done something else?
kelsey
you couldve told me that before i went .
joey
thats why im asking, did anything happen at the party?!
kelsey
NO goodnight joey.
i plugged my phone in and threw it on the floor. i sobbed and combed my hands threw my hair, my phone lit up.
joey
okay i believe you, goodnight kelsey, im sorry for not coming with you, i love you so much and ill see you tomorrow. just know i trust you with everything and you are my top priority before everyone else. im never giving up on you❤️
this made me cry more. hes such a good fucking guy and he fell in love with such a wrong girl.
i woke up with dried tears stained all over my face. i checked the time and it was 11 so i got up and walked into the bathroom, i was a wreck. i brushed my teeth and washed my face and then took all of my clothes off. i could barely look at myself. i felt even more used and insecure than i used to. i feel useless.
i got into the shower and probably took like 30 minutes. i got out and put on the sweatpants joey gave me (i washed them obviously) and a plain black shirt.
