phan one shots

phil's new hairstyle

Summary: Dan helps Phil decide whether or not to change his hair

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none

"Dan, I want to change my hair."

Simple right?

That's what Dan thought when his ebony haired boyfriend first walked into the lounge, wordlessly pushed his lap top away, sat on his thighs, and turned to him with a serious expression on his gentle features that just barely covered the sharp, burning anxiety hidden in the depths of his cerulean ocean eyes.

"So, change it." Dan replied, tilting his head in slight confusion since the solemness layering Phil's pale face gave him the idea that this conversation would be more serious than that.

Phil leaned into his chest, toes curling slightly as he played with the light brown curls at the nape of Dan's neck, twisting his candy colored lip between his teeth nervously.

And Dan knew immediately by that small gesture, that no, this was not simple.

"What's wrong?" He asked, before Phil could go on a rant about something weird that would have something to do with what they were talking about, but would completely lose him, because that's what Phil always did when he was anxious.

Phil sighed, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at his boyfriend's perceptiveness before his shoulders sunk again.

"What if people don't like it?"

Dan shrugged, pulling Phil in closer and caressing his cheek gently.

"Then fuck them."

Phil bit his lip even harder, and Dan quickly tugged it away before he could draw blood.

"But seriously Dan, if we're being absolutely serious...what if they enjoy my content less...or they stop watching my videos! Oh my god Dan...what if they hate it!"

"Lion..." Dan cooed softly, brushing Phil's black fringe out of his eyes. "First of all, so what if they hate it? They don't matter. If they care about you, they will want you to be happy, even if it's something as small as changing your hair. And if they don't they don't matter, you do, and you need to live for yourself, not other people. You want to change your hair? Change your damn hair Phil. Anyone who cares so much about your hairstyle that they'd unsubscribe or stop watching you because you changed it didn't deserve you anyway. It's okay to think about yourself sometimes Phil. Don't live your life for other people. Live it for you. And do what makes you happy."

Phil beamed at him, a spark shining brightly behind his pupils, and he hummed in agreement, tracing Dan's cheekbones.

"Thank you Dan, thank you sooooo much. You're the best person in the whole universe."

Dan laughed lightly, catching Phil's hand and enveloping it in his own.

"Now I don't know about that. But before you go thanking me, tell me what else you're worried about."

Phil feigned ignorance, shooting him a confused look, but Dan knew him better than that.

"I know you're not telling me something Phil, so you better spill."

Phi giggled. "That rhymes."

Dan raised his eyebrows, and Phil exhaled softly, warm breath fanning out across Dan's face.

"You know me too well..." He mumbled, playing with his sweater paws, and fear making an appearance again in his captivating eyes.

"Um..." He hummed, his voice shaking and wavering a bit with nerves, and Dan laced their fingers together, giving him a reassuring, dimpled smile.

"What if..." He started, squeezing Dan's hand for comfort and shoving away the little voice hissing mean things in his head. He allowed himself to drown in Dan's swirling pools of warmth and safety, and gathered the courage to ask him one more question. "What if you hate it?"

Dan paused, lips parting in shock, and for just a moment, Phil thought he might be angry, curling into himself and preparing to run back to his bedroom and hide under the blankets for eternity.

But then Dan was pulling him in by his sweater, pressing their mouths together and moving them in sync, arms circling around him and dragging him in until their chests were against each other and thudding hearts beating in time, warm, soft lips, reassuring and real, and beautiful, sweetening the bitter air stinging in his lungs and coating his tongue in golden petals.

"You are so silly," Dan breathed when they parted, foreheads resting against each other as they shared each breath. "You are so, so silly. You should know by now that you are beautiful. You're beautiful no matter what you're wearing or what your hair looks like. You're beautiful in every way, and you can't possibly do anything to make yourself not beautiful because you have a gift Phil, and that's unlimited beauty for all of time. I could never hate a single thing about you, not even your hair style, and no matter what you choose next, I will think you are beautiful. There's nothing you can do to change my mind. And like I said, this is about you. If you want to change you hair, do it, and fuck what anybody else says cause everyone knows you look so fucking gorgeous in everything. And I don't care how many times you freak out about it, because I will always be right here to remind you of that. Because I'm so in love with you Phil Lester, and I'll spend more than forever telling you that you are beautiful if you let me."

And god was Phil sensitive, because now he was crying, crystals coating his long lashes, silver drops curling around his jaw, shaky breaths leaving his lips, and this overwhelming burst of love and joy warm under his skin.

"I wouldn't spend more than forever with anyone else Dan."

A/N: did that fluff overload kill you, cause it killed me. Please leave comments telling me your thoughts and feelings, feel free to make requests or ask for part 2's of one shots I've already written, and tell me if you want more fluff, angst, both, are you don't care? Thank you sooooooooo much for reading. I love you all so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much and I promise you that you are beautiful and you look s fucking gorgeous in everything and you are so much more than good enough. Don't leave for others, leave for yourselves, and live for your own happiness. If they can't see that you carry the gift of unlimited eternal beauty then they didn't deserve you anyway. Take deep breaths and hold on, you are never ever ever alone, I'm right here, talk to me any time. Everything will be okay. I believe in you. And I believe we can do this, and we can get through this and we will be the happiest we've ever been. Just hang in there. You have so much waiting for you. You are precious angels that must be protected, do don't harm your precious bodies or your precious minds. Everyone makes mistakes and that's okay. It's also okay not to be okay. Never be afraid to ask for help. Be unapologetically yourselves. I support you and I am here. You are loved. Don't bully yourselves. Take care of yourselves, be kind to yourselves, and treat yourselves because you're special and you're worth it. I'm so serious. Eat and stay hydrated! Love youuuuuuuuu!