"Raising your gun to me isn't what scared me, Bellamy."
"Then what was?"
"That you told me you loved me just a few hours before."
∝
[SHADOW OF DEATH]
Meaning: A symbolic description of the world, meaning darkness and death are valleys on earth one...
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I sit with my head in my hands, wondering how the hell I was going to do this. I knew I would have absolutely no chance in this battle, and it wouldn't be so hard if I knew it was just me that would die as a result of my loss. But it wasn't. The whole of Skaikru would also die as a result of my loss.
I feel a hand being placed on my back as I look up from my hands to see Bellamy as he takes a seat beside me.
"I don't even know why they think of me as a damn leader." I mumble, shaking my head. I hear Bellamy sigh as he moves his hand from my back and instead, takes my hand in his.
"Because you are, Sawyer. You were when we first landed, and you've proven yourself time and time again." Bellamy explains but I shake my head and look down, an overwhelming feeling taking over my body as I try to push back the lump forming in my throat.
"Do you know who you're picking yet?" I hear him ask after a few moments of silence. I look up to the ceiling, breathing in and out with a shaky breath before looking at Bellamy with sorrowful eyes. I nod at him, feeling the tears brim my waterline of each eye. Bellamy furrows his eyebrows lightly in confusion for a second before I see the realisation cross his face.
"No. Sawyer, no." He shook his head repeatedly, before moving to crouch down in front of me and hold both of my hands. "You are not putting yourself in there."
"Who the hell else am I supposed to choose, Bellamy?" I almost exclaim, my chest tightening.
"Me. Put me in there." He tells me, causing me to roll my eyes in response.
"Bellamy I'm a better fighter than you. I'm the only one here who even stands half a chance of winning." I explain to him as I see the tears begin to brim his eyes. "Even if you were a better fighter, I would not put you in there." We stare at each other for a moment, before he looks down.
"They'll kill you, Sawyer." He whispers in defeat as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I move my hand to his cheek, lifting his face to look at me as I see a tear leave his eye.
"I know. It's okay." I tell him, but he shakes his head.
"This isn't happening." He states firmly. "Does your dad know? Clarke?"
"No. I'm going to tell them now." I inform him.
"They won't let you do it."
"It's not their choice." I retort, pushing my fingers into his black hair before placing my fingers at the nape of his neck and leaning in closer to him. "The same as it's not yours."
We hold each other's eye contact like it was the last time we would ever see each other. I could tell he was thinking of what to say, how to convince me otherwise, but it would be useless. I wasn't putting anyone else in this position when I know I can fight better than any Skaikru member here.
