The Football Dream (girlxgirl)

Back to the start - Rose

The late afternoon sun trickled over the skyline of skyscrapers on one side of the street- illuminating those opposite in a warm golden glow. The sights and smells were a reminder of happier times in the city, causing a smile to all but briefly as it quickly followed by a frown and a recollection of more recent memories. The city pavements were crowded by the hustle and bustle of the city workers leaving their offices behind after a long laboured day at work- rushing to the nearest underground stop, making their way home. Shoppers heavily laden with bags; negotiating tourists stood on corners reading maps and sightseeing the unique architectural designs.

Just off the main streets a cacophony of sights, sounds and smells surrounded and echoes of off the tall structures. People not familiar with the area may have disregarded it at a first glance, the fronts of stores a little worn with faded paint and slightly damaged awnings, but each store had its own story to tell.

I sat in a small local coffee shop that had a wonderful aroma of freshly grounded beans and had the largest beverage selection I had ever seen. From a sour fruity smoothie to a warm hot chocolate with mountains of cream. It was the best place for a relaxing evening after a hard day at work. People, filled with copious amounts of caffeine, forced to forget about all their worries.

I sat down on the old leather sofa, waiting for a familiar face to walk in. I had only been in London for a few hours, preparing for the next international break. It was about a month ago that I last saw Sam. We texted most days but it felt she was trying more than me. I really liked her, I just wasn't in the right mindset at this point in time in my life. Yet I couldn't let her go. She was special, too special to leave. We had talked over my current situation and she had advised me to seek help from a therapist. Which I did for a few weeks but it didn't help it just resulted me In getting angry.

The real kick up the butt I got was from Amber. She made me realise that life was too short to be unhappy and to try and see good in everything. So this was my new strategy I was trying. So far nothing had changed.

Zak entered the cafe, jingling the bell on top of the door as he made his way over to me. "Long time no see sis" he gave a sympathetic smile and gave me a gentle hug.

"Yeh well shit happened" I sighed a little sipping my drink.

"Indeed" he smiled softly. We sat talking for what felt like hours. I learnt that him and Lauren were giving it a go which made me happy but also a pain of guilt hit me. Beth. I hadn't heard anything about her since the last time I saw her. I didn't necessarily regret leaving her but I definitely regretted the way I did it. It made me realise something about myself that I didn't know was there. It scared me a little.

It wasn't long until Zak and I parted ways again - it was good to actually talk to him in person and sort out our issues. But now it was time to face 'home'. My mum wasn't there as she had recently been transferred up north for a long business trip. I was half glad as I don't think I could face her again. Not yet.

The house felt empty. My room was untouched and still filled with all my old belongings. I couldn't stay long so I grabbed what I needed and left, getting into my car that was still parked out the front. We had a team meeting later to go over what's happening for the next 2 weeks. Sam was still on the plane over so I decided to go see Amber. Playing for the woman's international team was a huge step up but I felt I was ready for it. The matches I played in France were just the beginning of my career and I was looking forward to what next season would hold. The team were all staying in the same hotel but they hadn't told us our roommates yet as not everyone has arrived. Part of me wanted to be with Sam but I knew it was unlikely.

"There you are I've been trying to ring you all day!" Amber frowned as I walked into our temporary room.

"Sorry I had things to sort out" I sighed laying on my bed.

"Have you heard from Sam yet?" Amber asked sorting out her bags.

"No I don't think she's landed yet I'm gonna pick her up from the airport along with two of the other girls flying over" I replied.

"Do any of the team know about your relationship?" Amber asked carefully.

"No" I sighed knowing it was going to be a hard two weeks. "Apart from you and Kelley"

"Cheer up Rose focus on your football, it's what makes you happy" Amber smiled. At this point in time not much made me happy. The only thing that did lived across the world.

I drove to the airport, slightly excited to see a certain brunette however I couldn't kiss her as some of the other girls were there. I stood there waiting and it wasn't long until the brown haired beauty was in sight. She was wearing her blue England polo with a pair of ripped jeans. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing her cute glasses that perfectly framed her face. As soon as she saw me a bright smile filled her face. She was with two other girls, one had short hair and looked quite small and the other was blonde but all I could focus on was Sam.

"Hey you" I smiled enveloping her into a friendly hug.

"Hey" she whispered. Gently she pulled away and introduced the other two girls - Casey and Eden. As we walked back to the car, I felt Sams hand brush against mine lightly and I turned my head to see her grinning.

When we got the hotel Sam and the other girls signed in. I watched from afar as I waited for Sam to be alone. Eventually she walked over and immediately grabbed my hand pulling me into the toilets. As soon as the door shut she pressed her warm lips to mine slowly and lovingly. "I've missed you" I whispered resting my head against hers.

"Me too" Sam smiled "how are you?" She asked softly.

"I'm ok" but that was as far away from the truth as possible and Sam noticed this. "Come on let's go up to mine and ambers room" I managed a smile and pressed my lips to hers one last time before we got upstairs into our room.

"Amber?" I shouted and soon enough her smiling face came peering out of the bathroom.

"Oh hey stranger" she smiled at Sam.

"Hey" she returned.

"Don't worry I'll go busy myself somewhere else just remember we have team talk in an hour" Amber shouted leaving the room.

Sam shook her head laughing, she turned to face me and put her hands into mine. "Is Kelley here yet?" Sam asked just above a whisper.

"I think so but I haven't seen her yet" I returned but was soon shut up by Sams lips pressing against mine.

We led on the bed just cuddling in a peaceful silence. It was times like this that I remembered how much I needed her in my life. Sam gently massaged my head with one hand and the other was wrapped around me pulling me closer to her. "Did you talk to your brother?" Sam broke the silence.

"Yeh" I returned.

"And?.." she asked with a smile.

"It was good, we talked through everything and we're good now" I replied slightly emotionless.

"That's good then?" Sam smiled.

"Yeh I guess" I sighed.

"Rose what's up?" Sam questioned sitting up a little. She turned to face me and her eyes almost broke me. I couldn't stop the tears falling as they had been stored up for far too long. "Come here" Sam motioned and I gently rested my head onto her lap. "Talk to me, it's what I'm here for"

I composed myself and thought about what to say. "Do you ever feel worthless? Like no matter how hard you try it doesn't get better. I have everything I ever wanted. Football -a beautiful caring girlfriend, but yet I still feel worthless" I felt the tears streaming down my face now. Sam hushed and gently removed the hair out of my face.

"I wish you could seen how beautiful, amazing, and talented you are. You are far from worthless" Sam spoke softly.

"I just feel like I'm falling and nothing can save me" I sighed.

"Let yourself fall, I will be at the bottom to catch you I promise" Sam gently pressed her lips to mine and I felt all the love in the world when her skin touched mine. The words finally felt as if they were there.

"I love you Sam" I whispered looking directly into her eyes.

"I know. I love you too"