Awkward

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Training was just a tad awkward. Seeing Sam was always going to be hard. But I had to move on. Beth was my happiness right now and I wouldn't let my feelings for sam come between us. But like I thought, it was painful seeing her face. I left her in the worse way possible and I could never forgive myself for that. The more I thought about it, the more it made me realise that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Not a healthy one. Not when I still loved Sam.

I got home and managed to go the whole day without speaking a word to Sam. I had a miss call from Beth and two unanswered texts. I couldn't mess her around not again. I dumped my bag and keys on the sofa and walked into the kitchen and was greeted by a delightful smell. Sofia was cooking a pasta dish.

"Oh hey rose" Sofia smiled.

"Hey that smells lush. Don't suppose there's enough for a little one here?" I smiled.

"Of course but get your muddy gloves out of here" sofia laughed swatting me with the tea towel. I just laughed and went into my room. It was tempting to just get into bed. But like Sofia said, I was very muddy and needed a shower.

Brushing my wet tangled hair, I heard my phone vibrate and I was surprised to see it was Sams name typing on Snapchat.

Sam- urh... hey. Can we talk?

Rose- sure. Wanna come round?

Sam- okay I'll be round in a bit.

I chucked an old sweater and shorts on and tied my hair into a ponytail.

"Hey Sofia is dad home?" I asked walking into the kitchen grabbing an apple.

"Oi stop eating otherwise you won't be hungry for my master piece. And no he went out for a run about 20 mins ago" Sofia replied.

"Okay umm Sams coming over to talk, we won't bother you." I stated.

"Yeh that's fine. There's enough food here if she wants some" Sofia smiled.

"Thanks I'll ask her-" I was interrupted by the door "I guess that's her now" I walked to the door and opened it to a very tired Sam.

"Hey" I half smiled. "Come in we can go to the balcony"

"Okay" Sam replied quietly and we both walked on through. "Something smells good"

"Haha yeh Sofia's cooking. I said the exact same thing when I walked in" I smiled motioning to the open planned kitchen. Sofia turned and smiled at Sam.

"You must be Sam. I'm Sofia, roses dads partner" Sofia smiled and gave Sam a soft hug.

"Hey nice to meet you" Sam smiled but I could see her looking towards her stomach.

"Anyway we're going out onto the balcony. Give us a shout when dinners done" I teased walking out onto the balcony.

"Okay cheeky" Sofia laughed and Sam just awkwardly smiled.

We both sat down on the outside sofa. It was a little awkward. "She seems nice" Sam smiled politely.

"Yeh she is. She's good for my dad" I smiled. "Also she's pregnant with my baby sister" I laughed.

"Wow" Sam smiled " a lot has changed."

"Yeh" I replied quietly.

We both sat in silence and looked onto the city.

"Look Sam about last night" I started but Sam stopped me.

"No stop. I was being selfish. If u want to be with Beth then I'm not going to stop you. I don't want there to be bad feelings between us." Sam sighed.

"That's the problem. I tried to move on but every time I see you. I just want to kiss you. Don't hate me but I slept with Beth last night. For a brief moment things felt normal again. But then I saw you. And everything changed. It brought back feelings that I don't think will ever go away. But now I've messed Beth around yet again because I'm still in love with you" I replied feeling my eyes tearing up.

"I don't know what to say" Sam states fiddling with her fingers. "My heart tells me to run straight back to you even though you broke it. But my brain is saying other things."

"I understand" I sighed.

"I'm not saying no. But I also don't want to rush back into old habits. If u really mean you love me then your gonna have to prove it. And first of all you need to talk to Beth. It's not fair to do this to her all over again." Sam replied calmly.

"Okay" I stated rubbing the tears away.

"Okay?"

"Okay I will make this right" I whispered. My eyes locked onto Sams. "I'm sorry... about everything"

"I know. Let's try move on from it. We are both better people" Sam smiled and stood up. " I better go. I'll see you tomorrow. Oh and Rose... congratulations on the England call up"

"Wait what??" I half shouted smiling.

"They released the team sheet an hour ago" Sam smiled. "I guess I get my roomie back"

"Wow okay I didn't expect that to happen again so soon" I smiled.

"Yeh well your an excellent keeper. They would be stupid to not give you a place" Sam stated.

"Thank you" I replied softly. "I'll show you out"

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It was nearing 10 pm and I had many miss calls from Beth now. I was scared to speak to her as I knew I would hurt her all over again. The phone rang once again and I picked up this time.

R- hey?

B- rose we need to talk. I've been thinking.

R- me too.

B- look I know I said we should take things slow but I don't think I can do this again.

R-... okay I understand. What's made you change your mind?

I asked a little shocked at what Beth was confessing.

B- look we didn't work the first time. And I don't think this is what we need. You obviously still have feelings for Sam and I'm not mad about that but we need to be grown ups about this. I think we are better as friends. Don't get me wrong I'm always here for you but I think friends is the best thing for us.

R- I agree.

B- you do?

R- yeh we are chasing after lost feelings. As long as I don't lose you completely and you still want to be friends I'm happy.

B- okay. Thank you Rose.

R- goodnight Beth.

B- night.

It hurt a little. But I was more relieved.

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