Forever but never

My twin

My stomach was turning and I started to feel sick. My head hurted and I know that something's very wrong. I can feel that somethig happened to Martinus. I pulled Adrien with me to Alicia's room where Martinus is, but it was locked.

Me: Martinus, open the door!!! MARTINUS!!! I can feel that something's wrong so open please!!!

No response. I'm starting to worry now. I started to cry without any reason or maybe'cause I was worried. I was yelling for Martinus to open up, but no sight of him there. Then Adrien came back with spare key for Alicia's room and tried to unlock.

Adrien: I can't. I think he left the key inside, so we can't do anything.

Me: We need to do something.

Adrien: I'm sorry mum.

I looked at him and he moved back and forward and broke the door down. That was fast. All was dusty and I really couldn't see anything. Then I stepped inside and after some second I could see clear. And I saw the horror in real life. I was terrified and my hert suddenly went cold. My whole world is gone. Two important persons in my life just left and one of them is my world, my twin. I broke down at that point. Martinus had rope tied around his neck and his lifeless body was hanging there, the chair laying on the ground. I saw letters beside it and picked them up. On fist was written 'To mum and dad', the second one 'Alicia's family', the third one 'Emma' and last one was for me. I opened it and looked what was written.

Dear dear Marcus!

I hope you aren't too sad or angry. I want you to know that you were the best twin I could imagine. From when I was born, you were always with me and you were always by my side. At hard times you were the one that helped me back up and I won't forget that. We shared our happiest moments together and we fought sometimes, but we always laughed at it at the end of the day. We were unstoppable together, we were happy and all, we even came far in our career and that's what made our life better. We were doing what made us happy and that was singing, so I want you to sing even when I'm not here anymore. I know you're strong enough that you'll get through this.I'm really worried about how Emma will do so look after her. Last week was hell for me. I was pretending to be okay when I really wasn't like you saw. Those cuts on my arm are only what proves that and I'm not proud of that. I hid them under long sleeves and even when you saw them I said I accidentally cutted myself. I'm really sorry that you need to go through this, but I just can't imagine my life without Alicia by my side so this is where I end my road. I'm sorry and I hope it isn't too much for you. Don't be sad because I'm still here. I'm looking after you, just imagine I'm here. So all ends now. Don't try to get me back to life, 'cause it's too late and if you succeed, I'll do it again anyway because I just can't.

Goodbye, you were the best twin ever.

I love you. Martinus.

So I guess that's it. The end of us. I don't want it to end. We haven't done everything we wanted to and I think I won't be able to do it alone. I just can't believe I lost my own twin. I pulled my phone out of the pocket and called mum. She picked up after third ring.

Mum: Marcus what do you want! I'm driving!

Me: MUM!!! COME BACK HOME!!! IT'S MARTINUS!!!

Mum: WHAT!!!

Me:...

Mum: I'M COMING HOME RN!!!

I ended the call and five minutes later I heard mum's car. She was back. I heard footsteps and I wasn't able to move or say athing. I was slowly realizing what actually happened. I turned around and she appeared in front of the room with terrified face. Her face turned pale in a second and I heard another car. Alicia's mum, Emma, Leo and dad. i heard running upsairs and they all appeared here. Emma and Leo started to cry unstoppable. I got up and ran outside and down the street. I don't wanna go back there. I had my phone and my letter with me. I thought of somewhere I could go and one person popped up in my mind.

I ran down the road and I actually wasn't sure if i was going the right way, but I really don't care rn. I saw the house and stopped outside of it. I walked to the door and knocked. Her mother opened up and greeted me. She smiled and called her down. When she saw me she hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. Then she pulled me by my hand in her room.

Me: I missed you.

J: I missed you too. How's Alicia? I haven't seen her for so long.

Me: Johanna, I came here because I really need someone rn. No one of them is here.

Johanna: Who do you mean and what do you mean?

Me: Alicia and...they both left...

 Johanna: Wait...is...Alicia...DEAD?!

I started to cry againand nodded. She hugged me tight and cried with me. She meant so much to all of us. To me, Johanna, mum, dad, Emma, Adrien, Leo, her parents and the most...to Martinus. She then spoke up with shaking voice.

Johanna: When did this happen?

Me: Last week. Martinus and her went out together and he didn't wantch after her because they were hanging out with friends and they didn't see her and then they found her at the end of the field without pulse and they called the ambulance. They managed to save her but... they put Martinus through hell... he neeed to choose if he'll end her life of if he'll let her live, but she wouldn't be able to do anything... she would be paralyzed from neck down. And he ended it which was the best for her. He said a little girl helped him.

Johanna: I can't imagine how he feels now. His whole world literally dissapeared.And what they put him through is just too much. I think i wouldn't be able to go through that. I'm sure he's feeling guilty now.

Me: Well, actually... I came here because of that... he... killed himself earlier and I just... he was just hanging there... I just couldn't...

She looked shocked at me and we both broke down crying. She was hugging me tight and I was hugging her and we were like this for a long time until she looked up at me with red eyes from crying.

Johanna: Please, tell me this is just a sick joke.

Me: I wish it was.

She looked down again still hugging me and then she put her head on my chest and soon it was wet from her tears. But then next thing popped up in my mind. MMers. What am I gonna tell them? I can't do this. But they need to know and somehow I need to tell them. After all he's my twin and Alicia my bestie. What will I do?