Tracer x Male Reader (no, I'm not clever enough to come up with a good title)

I'm (y/n) the wise-cracking ex-boyfriend sent by Lena.

Heh heh heh...oh you poor, poor readers have no idea what's gonna happen...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(voice #32) OHMYGODD!! Just get on with the chapter!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)...heh...heh...heh (and please someone get the title and other reference I put in here)

     Silence. Dead silence was all that existed in that room as you stared at Lena, your beautiful ex-girlfriend, and as Lena stared right back at you. You broke the invisible laser beam that seemed to be connecting Lena and your own eyes' by clearing your throat and looking away. You sighed and clicked the latches on the side of your helmet and took it off, dropping to the dusty ground. "Why." this wasn't a question from you. It was a statement. "Why are you here? If it's about    Emi--" Lena cut you off with an angry grumble and said, "Look, I...not everything is about you, okay, lov--?" Lena started to say 'love' but quickly stopped herself. "Overwatch...it's...it needs your help. I need your help." You closed your eyes for a second and sighed. You bit your lip, thinking. All the other Overwatch members...they never did anything to you. In your flurry of anger and sadness, you had cut yourself off from everything that reminded you of...her. But...Overwatch was still...your home and your family. "Fine. But it's not for you. It's for them." 

     As the Lambo approached 60 mph, you flicked the auto pilot on and turned to Lena who was sitting in the passenger seat. You sighed and tentatively said, "What...what's happening? Why does Overwatch need me again?" Lena slowly turned to you, the starry night sky framing her small, adorable form. "It...it's been corrupted. After you...took your leave from Overwatch, we uh, started recruiting cadets to--" "Replace me." you finished. "Well...I mean uh..." you gave her a sheepish look and she smiled nervously. She quickly cleared her throat and continued, "We ended up choosing a promising cadet, to join us as an active Overwatch member, by the name of Blake (a/n) hey! @theman1384 if ya didn't notice, I'm finally utilizing your character that I promised! ;D. He was actually a sleeper agent working for Talon and using some kind of tech that I've never seen before, he turned every Overwatch agent into a slave for Talon. (a/n) I bet Doomfist is having some fun with his Overwatch agents, if ya know what I mean...sorry that was a low blow. Moving on! I don't know what in bloody hell that tosser is planning to do with them but I do know we've got to stop him!" You cocked an eyebrow at her and said, "Uhhhh...oooookay then. Well, let's get started then I guess." 

     You silently parked the car about a half mile from the now taken over Overwatch base and hopped out. You locked the door and opened the trunk. Inside was a mini armory of sorts. "So...what's the plan?" you asked Lena, who was standing beside you, adjusting her orange goggles. She shrugged and you face-palmed, well, this was going to go just spectacularly. You just hoped your sis would be kind enough to plan your funeral. You sighed and picked up a compact, experimental LASER (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation) RPG that you had recently stolen from an experimental weapons testing Lumerico facility. You latched that onto your back. You glanced at Lena who was watching you with pursed lips. You gestured with your head toward the trunk, signaling that she should probably gear up too. She mouthed the word 'oh' and started digging through your stuff, gearing up. You already had your Scar-H, your dual M-9's, an assortment of combat knives and grenades, plus everything that was already built into your suit. You shrugged and grabbed an AWP sniper rifle, latching that to your back as well. You looked to Lena and said, "Alright, here's the contingency plan...uhh...well, you get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed? Walk it off." she gave you a smirk and you both nodded at each other. It was time.

     Overwatch guards silently turned towards the door they were guarding from the inside when they heard a small 'beep...beep...beep...BEEP BEEP MOTHAFUCKERS!!' and then the door exploded. Lena and you stood atop the wreckage of the vault-class door that guarded the front entrance to the Overwatch watch point. "Hi." you said through your mask and you shot the guard in the knee, Lena doing the same. "Uh, love...was that 'beep beep mothafuckers' really necessary?" you shrugged and replied with "You wanted to go loud and proud." She gave a quizzical look and you started running ahead. Overwatch guards were coming out of the hallways and into the main forum where the front door was. You flipped over an oak table and took cover behind it, bullets whizzing past the table and into the leather couches and arm-chairs around you. You pulled out your knife and cut a hole in the table. You discarded the knife and poked the barrel and scope of the AWP through the hole. "Gotcha" you whispered to yourself. BAM! The shot rang out and you silently wished you brought a silencer. You scored a collateral, managing to hit three guys with one bullet, all in their knee caps of course. You stowed the sniper rifle and withdrew the Scar-H. You switched fire rate to burst and in one swift motion, you stood up from cover and head shot the six remaining omnics (you killed the omnics because you knew they could be rebuilt with their memories and intelligence stored within a separate computer). You and Lena quickly rushed forward taking the hallway on the right, knowing it led to the main computer room where you suspected most of the actual Overwatch agents would be. Lena kicked down the door and Soldier 76, Reinhardt, Winston, and Ana turned to greet you. "Ah, shit." you cursed as you saw the gathering below you two. You and Lena were taking cover next to each other behind the solid railing at the top of the staircase. "What do we do, love?!" Lena was shouting in your ear. "Only one thing we can do." 

     You unlatched a grenade from your suit and pulled the pin. You hurled it backwards off the balcony, predicting where it would land without you seeing it. The grenade was only a stun grenade but they didn't know that, Reinhardt quickly brought up his shield and everyone took cover behind it. But this, however, meant you and Lena could move now because they were distracted. Lena quickly bolt left and you ran right. Both of you sliding into (those DM's) cover behind rows of holographic monitors on long tables. S76 was the first to recover from the flashbang and quickly spotted both you and Lena, ducking behind the tables. "There, on the left! And the right!" he was yelling. "Reinhardt, Ana, take Oxton. Winston, prepare the endgame. (Y/n) is mine." you cursed under your breath and hoped to god that Lena could take care of herself. And WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE ENDGAME??? You reattached the Scar-H to your back and pulled the LASER RPG from your back. You clicked the safety off and turned the laser intensity to 'low,' now wanting to kill your friend. You rolled to the left, out of cover and locked eyes (well, you're both wearing masks but...y'know what I mean) with the sprinting S76. "Wassa Soldier Seventy-bitch!" you screamed manically as you squeezed the trigger on the giant ass laser gun. "Aw, shi-" you heard S76 say as the red beam of pain engulfed the top half of his body. He fell to the ground, his jacket either blackened or turned to ash depending on the spot, his hair had turned from snowy white to a crisp black and his visor was cracked and blinking on and off(A/n) THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE. "Fuck." he muttered, he was still alive thankfully. You threw the weapon to the ground and glanced at Lena who was currently cartwheeling over and on Reinhardt's head with Ana lying on the ground with a couple hundred sleep darts pricked into her. You looked to the ground and sighed heavily, thinking what ever the fuck happened to you two. You shook off the depression and suddenly cursed, remembering the "endgame." You sprinted at Winston who was working away on the main console. You tackled him just as he was about to press "INITIATE." You two went tumbling to the dusty floor and you quickly got up and strattled the primate. You withdrew one of your M-9's, pointing it in between his glasses and said through clenched teeth, "Where is...Barry! Bill. Ben? I don't know, SOMETHING WITH A B!" "Blake." someone said from the shadows. You turned to see a figure emerge from the shadows. It was Blake himself. You got off Winston and faced the man. He was handsome with a strong chin and carefully spiked hair. His biceps flexed and groaned as he walked towards you. He was a good three inches taller than you and you rolled your eyes and scoffed. You took off your helmet and let it fall to the cold hard ground. "You kidding me?" you said with a confident smirk. "You're the guy that single-handedly took down Overwatch?" He scowled at you and said in a disturbingly low voice, "And you are?" you cocked your head to the right and smirked, "The guy who's gonna kick your sorry ass all the way back to Doomfist." He glared at you and pulled Mccree's Peacekeeper from his holster and aimed it at your face. "Gonna fuckin' kill you." You smirked even harder and flipped him the bird Chris Pratt style "You can damn well try mothafucka."