When I'm gone

Temporary hurts

Chapter 17

[2 days later]

Laura's POV

Brandi was released from the hospital after seeing that she was healing properly. I had to talk to Demi. I needed to know how to stop myself from getting worse than I already was. I had ended up by the razors side again last night when I woke up and I was now struggling to hide From Brandi and everyone else.

Brandi's POV

I could tell something was wrong with Laura because it was like she had shut out everyone. When I asked, She refused to tell me what was up. I had to talk to Tristan soon to explain everything. So I decided now was the best time. He picked up after the first ring, obviously drunk. "Hayyy baby." He slurred and I stifled a laugh. "Hey back." There was silence then a girls voice on the phone. "Who you talking to babe?" She asked. I was angered at this but I didn't see why because I had my girl on the other side of the tour bus. "Who the fuck is that?" Tristan laughed and I heard different noises. By now I was hurt and a tear escaped. "Your such a prick!" I yelled down the phone the kissing stopped and he giggled towards the girl on the other end. "Look just leave me alone okay?" I laughed angrily. "Oh don't worry cause your sorry ass just got left for someone better." I yelled, hanging up and flicking off the phone in hand. Had he been cheating this whole time? I mean I had to wonder. Despite this I still was saddened by the break up. "What's the matter?" I heard Laura's soft voice from the short hall. "Nothing I just called Tristan." She instantly seemed jealous and ran over sitting in my lap. "Stop being so jealous." I whispered against her soft lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist as she did the same to me. She begged for more access and I let her tongue into my mouth we were both moaning into the lust filled kiss as her hands found the bottom of my shirt my heart was beating out of my chest but there was a sense of comfort until I heard Demi's voice. "No way! I saw the way you two were about ready to rip your clothes off, There will be no sex on my tour bus." Laura laughed, embarrassed then got off my lap. "Isn't it a little too early in our relationship for you to give is that talk." I rolled my eyes but blushed and Laura giggled. I glanced over at her and she moved closer laying her head on my shoulder. "Ugh, just don't do anything okay?" I nodded along with Laura and she sat on the couch across from us. There was a long silence when Demi began playing on her phone but Laura broke it. "Dems can I talk to you in private?"

Laura's POV

I didn't see why I couldn't go ahead and tell her now so I spoke up instantly regretting it. "Yeah of course." I swallowed a lump in my throats as she led me to her bedroom, sitting on the bed and outstretching her arms. This was it. All I had to do was show her and she'd know what to do. I looked down at my feet, ashamed. Was I ready for this? I looked up and Demi frowned. "What's the matter Laura?" I shook my head a tear falling onto my shoe as Demi stood up hugging me and sitting back down with me in her arms. "Just tell me." She soothed and that's all it took. Slowly I rolled up my sleeve and Demi gave me a look of pain. "Laura don't tell me-" I shook my head. "But I did and I feel completely stupid for it." She gently took my arm in her hands and kissed the cuts lining up my wrist. "I'm so sorry." I mumbled falling into her arms once again. There was a knock on the door and I rolled down my sleeve, feeling anxious from even confessing what happened to her. She glanced to the door. "One sec. please." Her eyes met my own. "Promise me you'll try and come to me if you feel like cutting again." She whispered and I connected our pinky's, nodding and got up, Demi following behind me. The bus stopped and Demi clapped her hands together and got ready to go shopping with us. Brandi's hand found my butt and she slid her hand in my pocket. I gave her a look in return and she grabbed my hand laughing before pecking me on the cheek. "What was that little talk all about?" She asked teasing me. My smile instantly dropped and she stopped dead in her tracks jerking me into her arms. "I didn't mean to make you sad or anything. I'm sorry." She apologized and I gave her a warm smile. "It's fine. I still love you." I whispered and she leaned in, pecking my cheek and pulling away. I slid my hand into her back pocket, making it harder for her to run I went to kiss her but she slid her finger in the way. "Aww, stop being this way." I pouted and she giggled. "You're such a tease." Demi walked out letting out a sigh. "What?" I asked childishly. "Nothing. You two are always touching each other." I shook my head and Brandi giggled. "Dems we're together, what did you expect?" She just shook her head. "I didn't expect you to move this fast in your relationship, I just think it would be better if you two took it slower." I nodded in agreement before looking over at Brandi who smiled and I knew what she was thinking. She leaned in, her lips finding a place behind my ear. "Get sexual and annoy the fuck out of Demi." I bit my lip and lifted her up so her legs were around my legs, pushing her up against the wall and kissing her roughly before winking at Demi. Demi just stood there shocked until I unbuttoned Brandi's pants but she pushed me back, shocked. Demi wrapped me up pulling me by my arms and grabbed Brandi. "She's mine." Demi pouted and Brandi rolled her eyes buttoning her pants back up. "Am I gonna have to watch you two all the time?" I shook my head. "No ma'am." Brandi slid out from around her. "I promise we'll take it slower I've just been so fucking hor-" Demi choked. "Nah! Uh no I didn't need to know that." She yelled, acting grossed out. Laura smiled and took my hand and We opened the bus door to a swarm of lovatics.

Brandi's POV

I nervously let Laura's hand fall out of mine and she looked over hurt laced in her facial expression. She lightly tugged at the hand that was stuck deep In my pockets, stopping me while Demi continued taking pictures. "I-I don't want to be hated for liking you, what if your parents find out?" She took a step then stopped, taking my hands in hers and looking me deeply in the eyes. "Forget what they think. All that matters is us and my parents support me no matter what." I just shrugged, not having the right words ready to reply. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked concerned as she let go of one of my hands frowning. "Yeah, I'll be fine." I lied. I didn't want to lose Laura when I just got her so nervous or not I'd stick by her. "Laura?" She barely cracked a smile and looked over at me, waving to Demi's lovatics as we pushed our way through the loud fans. Feeling slightly remorseful I pulled my hand out from her grip and sighed, looking away from the tan-skinned blonde known as my girlfriend. She looked down, pausing then walked on, leaving me behind. I continued walking and pushed my feelings deep down where I thought I'd never feel them again, wanting so badly to have my girl back, but she was gone. I pushed through the crowd and chased after Laura and Demi both. There's was something of a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't eaten all day and my legs were beginning to weaken. They continued walking as the paps lit up around Demi as I ran past their hate filled words and caught up to Laura just as we entered the mall. "I'm sorry." I whispered against Laura's ear trying to get to her hand but she pulled away. "I'm sorry too." She snarled sarcastically. I felt hurt and tears pricked my eyes I stopped, watching them walk off they soon forgot all about me. Not even Demi had noticed I was gone yet. I turned around, tear stained and left back to the tour bus. The blade seemed more appealing now that I was alone. All I could say is that I was a wreck when I'd made it.

Of course they wouldn't care about you.

"Shut up!"

We won't go away until you do it.

Cut!

"Stop!"

I sobbed, clutching my ears as they attacked me. I was reluctant but obeyed and put the metal against my wrist. Slowly I slid it across. Causing more pain than I had intended. I just sat there letting myself drown in the never ending pain the stinging in my cuts; itching. A tear fell, there was no reason to hold back. Again I cut swiftly. Soon I had cuts up my arm. I didn't bother getting up instead I just got lost in my thoughts. How could I be so clueless? Demi only adopted me to dump me soon after; only caring half the time. I felt this pull towards my real mom, the one who sacrificed for me, what has Demi sacrificed for me? Nothing. I hate myself. I hate my image, my hair, my body, my eyes. Soon I was picking out every flaw standing in front of the full length mirror. "I'm worthless." I repeated over and over, feeling darker by the minute but interrupted my storm by Laura's voice. I opened the door smiling. "I'm fine." I replied while keeping on my fake smile until she turned around believing my every word. I was good at lying no doubt about that. My smile disappeared, returning only when needed. I was slowly slipping back into the place I'd been in before this all started. Funny thing is; I couldn't stop myself. I needed to be saved.

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The only reason I did a double update is because last chapter I meant to give a shoutout to carsynandburnette cause I know she ships Brandi and Laura. Another reason is I'm so ahead in this book like at least 6 chapters ahead.

Stay strong

~hannah