When I'm gone

Believe in me

Chapter 23

Brandi's POV

    I curled up, my sobs quieted by force. I didn't want Demi to come to my rescue. Not this time, not tonight. I got up flipping on the bathroom light, getting blinded for a second before focusing. My eyes met the battered girl in the mirror. This was me, bloodshot eyes, pale skin, bags under my eyes. I looked like hell and felt like it too. I didn't see a reason why I couldn't numb my pain now. Nobody would mess with me not at this time at night. I gripped the blade in my hands, sliding down the wall, meeting the cold floor. This is all I've ever known, this was the only way to get rid of the pain for me. Demi's voice played in memories on the back of my head and I swallowed the lump. Just try. Laura's voice was like soft whispered reminders to be strong and I felt the emptiness return.

Cut!

I clenched the blade in my hand, feeling it cut into my fingers as I threw it in the trash and as my eyes landed on the object I could barely believe this was real. How? Why? Was it for Laura? Was it for Demi? For me? It was all of those and I didn't have a why. All I knew was that I wanted to keep going. My moment faltered and shattered.

There's no way you'll make it.

You're such a screw up.

You are too weak.

I stared at my tired expression across my face in the mirror. "Cause you can bandage the damage, you never really can fix my heart." I mumbled to myself. What was I doing?

Being a fuck up.

   Oh how I loved my Brain it always had an answer for me. How long was I willing to treat myself like this? I unlocked my bedroom door but left it closed and sat back on my bed, debating on wether I should send Laura a text.

Brandi: hey babe, I miss you.

I sat there for a while, waiting for a reply, she had read the message but after 20 minutes I gave up.

She forgot about you.

I knew she would leave and never look back. Maybe she was too hurt to talk to me. I needed to move on. I cut off the light and slid back up under the sheets of my bed, still warm from leaving the bed nearly 30 minutes ago. I curled up under the covers, getting warm before falling back asleep.

Demi's POV

I sat down beside my sleeping daughter and shook her lightly. "Brandi, get up." She groaned and rolled over, ignoring me. "Up now, or water." She sat up slowly pushing me lightly and I returned the favor. "Seriously?" In the seconds that she had been laughing it quickly turned into crying. "Baby, what's the matter?" Why even ask that?

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Guyyys guess what. I'm back to writing this book. Yay (2014)

Update: almost done with editing it.

Stay strong

~Hannah