CLANDESTINE

seize

16
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do you hear me?
i know that you're hurting.
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mark totally went mad.

he was blaming himself for letting go of donghyuck so easily, he didn't even stop him or say anything. what made him so passive as he saw donghyuck left? mark wouldn't know. maybe it's the pain that was burning in his heart, maybe it's the anger firing up inside his body, maybe it's just him.

he couldn't even give a proper answer to the other members when they asked what had happened, all he could said was to give both of them some time. the others concluded that both of them were fighting once again but mark was quick to denied it which made the others more confused.

donghyuck wasn't coming out from the room, mark wasn't being himself.

they had every reasons to be worried of both of them but mark thought it was unnecessary. mark don't want the attention on them, he had enough of everything.

all mark wish for was happiness.

mark wanted to be happy of himself, of donghyuck. he was always the one that is happy even though donghyuck was crying his heart out, he was always the one that is happy though the other members were in a slump, he was always the one that is happy when his sister was sad.

mark had always been the happy one, is it wrong for him to be sad?

the answer is no, obviously. mark was a human too. that's why he can't understand why the others were looking at him with the eyes of pity, he didn't want that. it made him pathetic. the others were shocked of his sudden outburst, he snapped right in front of them while cursing out everything in his way as he slammed the door of his room.

it's been hours and mark was still leaning his back against his bed, eyes closed, his knees up on his chest as his arms wrapped around it.

he can heard the shuffling of steps outside of his room, knocking on a door that wasn't his, the members calling out for the other boy's name. mark supposed donghyuck had locked himself again in the room. mark wouldn't be one to say things cause that's literally what he's doing right now. the difference was, the members was there to comfort donghyuck and there wasn't anyone checking on him.

now, don't get him wrong.

mark knew the boys were giving him space. they knew how mark would be when he's infuriated and they knew better than to approach him at the moment. mark didn't really care about that, all he hoped was the others can get donghyuck to talk.

it was already nine p.m. and mark was still wide awake.

mark finally opened the door of his room, the sight of the boys sleeping on the floor greeted him. it seems that the others didn't get back to their own dorms, mark saw the younger ones laying on the left side of the living room.

he carefully walked, not wanting to step onto the boys feet. his original idea of coming out of the room was to get a drink but it's totally thrown out the window when his gaze fell to one particular door.

he was hesitant to go there but there was so much than just pain in his heart that told him to stop being a goddamn coward. mark stopped in front of it, his heart beating loudly against his ribcage. usually, it would be a good sign but right now, all his heart wanted was to end the pain.

"hyuck,"

mark had no idea how sad he sounds till he heard his own voice breaking, so small and soft. it's like a whisper, passing away with the air. his knees gave up right when he felt warm tears coming out from his own eyes, his hand on the door. mark wasn't even one to cry, it took him a lot to cry but his eyes can't stop spilling out tears.

"h-hyuck,"

mark was getting breathless, he felt suffocated, he bit his lip as he can felt how his whole body shook. he inhaled shakingly, hating himself for being so weak.

"donghyuck,"

his voice was a lone cry, wanting it to reach the boy that was on the other side of the door.

donghyuck. his baby, his love, his life, his everything. donghyuck that would cuddle with him every night. donghyuck that would hold his hands gently. donghyuck that would whisper sweet words to his ears. donghyuck that would hug him from behind. donghyuck that would clung to him at interviews. donghyuck that would laugh at him when he got tease. donghyuck that would smile at him when things were hard. donghyuck that would embrace him when he was helpless. donghyuck that would wrapped him with his nice scent.

his donghyuck was hurting and mark can't even do anything about it.

when he found out that donghyuck was moved to another dorm, mark didn't even care about the negative thoughts consuming his mind.

let it hurt him or what, mark just wanted donghyuck.