Blurred Sides (COMPLETE)

7.13.3

As Anakin descended down the shaft, he couldn't push away his memories from the trial. It wasn't quite the same, since the morning was well underway instead of the night, but he could still see Ahsoka free-falling from the sewage line output. He could still remember what was running through his head when she had asked him to trust her.

I can't protect you out there, he had wanted to tell her. If someone finds you and you need help, I won't know. It's not safe to do this on your own. Please, just let me come with you. We can figure this out together, even if we don't go back, just please don't go.

Even as he had shaken his head, she had jumped from the piping and down the shaft. What would have gone differently, if she had come back with him, or if he had gone into the Lower Levels with her?  Why had he let them separate? They had always been together when they had to face something, and sometimes even when he had ordered her to stay behind. So why, when it was more important than ever, had they split up?

The shaft wasn't the only thing he remembered. On the surface, the things he had said...no, screamed at her, how could he have said those things? He had told her that she deserved to die. The whole time she had been trying to help him, whether she was Ahsoka or not, and how had he repaid her? He had answered death with death, and what had that accomplished?

He wanted to go back, he wanted to go back to his youth when the Force seemed like a superpower and the Jedi seemed like they were heroes to all. He wanted to go back to a day when he hadn't trusted a Sith Lord and when he hadn't fallen to the Darkness. Anakin would even be willing to go back to Tatooine, back to slavery, if it meant that he wouldn't have caused all of this. All of his mistakes, they would have been erased, gone, and he wouldn't have hurt so many people. Maybe his mother would still be alive, and Ahsoka would still be a Jedi. Another Jedi would have looked out for her, and protected her and stood up for her the way he hadn't.

Even as he thought that he knew it wasn't true. No one would have stood up for her when she was accused or they would have helped her. He and Padmé alone had defended her. As much as he hated what he had done, it was possible that it was better than what might have been.

He finally landed on the very bottom level of Coruscant, where no one ever ventured unless they were incredibly brave, or incredibly stupid. In Anakin's case, he was stalling, but he wouldn't admit it to himself. Instead, he dismounted and looked for signs that the Inquisitor had been here.

The place certainly felt Dark. All around him, the Dark Side of the Force was snaking about the shadows, and it chilled Anakin's blood. Maybe Sideous had hidden something down here. Whatever it was, it didn't feel like the Inquisitor. There was no blood on the ground either, which meant that she had caught herself before falling this far. Maybe she had landed on a ship? Or had she been able to slow her fall with the Force? Anakin was glad that he hadn't sliced her in half now, but looking back he really ought to have finished the job if he was going to do it. What had he been thinking? If it wasn't so atrocious, and he wasn't so afraid of what he was going to find down here, he would have laughed at himself.

The bottom level was deserted, so Anakin mounted his speeder again and started working up levels. As he rose, he looked for blood spilled on the ground. His lightsaber would have cauterized the cut, but if she had survived, she would have had to move, and even a cauterized wound would bleed if it was stressed. Wherever she had gone, blood ought to have stained the ground behind her. If he found a trail, he would find where she went, whether he wanted to know or not.

It wasn't long before he saw a group of people clustered around one of the platforms to a level. He sped towards them (at the slowest speed possible, mind you), and parked the speeder in one of the spots reserved for government agents only. He dismounted, shouldered the pack, and went to see what all of the fuss was about.