The Window to the Soul

Chapter 28: Handful of Soul

Pain

(n.)

Def: Physical suffering or emotional torment; sometimes a combination of both 

(Dictionary.com)

~

White noise. Silence. Blurred lines. Amnesia. I really don't remember what happened after that. It felt like time had stopped, and I had been blinded by pain. In my mind, I was floating weightless in space, no feeling throughout my body. It was as if my soul was drifting freely through time, letting the the wind take it. I drifted through the dark forests, across coastal cliffs, through beautiful cities. Like a balloon, I drifted back up to the sky, into a gaping black hole. Its swirling black mist dragged me inside, engulfing me in darkness. No- it wasn't frightening or painful. In fact, it was peaceful, like my soul had been put to rest. Once inside, I felt nothing. Nothingness. It was as if the line of life went flat. No more ups and downs. I forgot everything, all feeling. Any happy memories I had were hidden deep down in my mind, locked up in the sands of time. 

Some may call it the end. Others may call it the beginning. I knew that it was neither.

~

I had never had a close relative or friend die, let alone witness it first-hand. With the exception of my grandma, who was my best friend. She was a beautiful woman, curly white hair and a smile that could light up a room.  She died when I turned 16. The boys, Iris, and Aurora were the only friends I have now. My parents are not who I thought they were. Now one of my best friends has died. He died trying to help me. He had always tried to help me, when I first was turned...when I killed the hunter- he was always there for me. I loved him like a brother. 

But love seems to be everyone's downfall. People can play your heart strings like a guitar's. They can keep your soul in the palm of their hand, without you even knowing. They can twist, break, and torture your soul, leaving it empty. Love is a disadvantage. A disadvantage I would no longer have.

~

Time had stopped for me. It had not only stopped my ability to feel, but my ability to care. For the first time in my entire life, I didn't care. I didn't care what was right or wrong. After Colton's death, something snapped in me. 

I didn't care.

~

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why its a sin to kill a Mockingbird."-Harper Lee (To Kill A Mockingbird)