My Bubblegum Prince ✔

037

Sebastian Crown

"I love you."

Wait, what?!

Paxton and I pulled away from each other, our faces holding the same expression. Surprise and shock and a whole lot of other things.

"W-what?" Flynn asks and I gulp. I was hoping. I was really hoping that I wasn't the one who said it.

"Uh--" I looked away. I don't know what to do now. I just have to say it back and hopefully he would say it back too and everything would be perfect. But do I want perfect?

"Nothing." I rush.

"What?" Flynn asks again, this time accompanying it with a raised brow. "Nothing?"

I shrug. "Yea." I awkwardly lean in and kiss his cheek. "Goodnight."

I don't walk away three steps before Flynn called me.

"Sebastian. . ."

I squeezed my eyes shut in pain. Both physical, mental and emotional pain. Why did I have to go ahead and make things awkward? Why did my big mouth have to ruin everything?

"Flynn. . . you should go in. I can see your brother peeking out and isn't your mum back and waiting?" I give him a small smile. "We'll see tomorrow."

An expression crossed his face, one I know so well. The same one I saw in the lab class the second time we kissed, the same one that  made my insides clench. But it was gone the minute it came and Flynn nodded.  "Okay. Goodnight."

I watched him run up his porch, looking at me once more with a weak smile before finally disappearing into the house. Once the door closed shut, a sigh escaped my lips and my head hanged low as I walked away. I took the night bus and my mind was occupied all through.

I didn't lie. My heart felt it and my mouth just had to say it. I love him. I've loved him for a freaking long time now. He's awesome. Wonderful. Handsome. Super intelligent. The whole package. I don't deserve someone like him. Anyone would think I'm pretty stupid for confessing such a thing and backtracking, running away like a coward but. . .

I didn't want to ask him to be my boyfriend because everything surrounding me was filled with uncertainty. Any moment my dad could come visiting and if he gets the slightest clue of what's going on then that's it for me and maybe Flynn too. I got to be ready for anything and anything includes I got to be ready to cut loose, to count my loses, to free him when the time comes.

Saying an 'I love you' to me is a bigger commitment than being in a real relationship, being a couple. It's a promise of Forever. A promise I can't afford to give or get right now. For his own good. For Flynn.

I'm probably over thinking things and it's surprising me even. I wasn't like this, not at all. But that's until I met and fell for Paxton Flynn. He makes me over think things, he makes me think of the future and put his needs before mine.

By the time I arrived home, I was beyond tired. I wish things could be simpler. The house was silent, so I assumed everyone had gone to bed. I showered and while pulling on my pajamas, I heard a knock on my door. I groaned out loud wondering what anybody would want from me now.

"What?"

"Mr Crown, your friend is here to see you." Came the voice of the fat round lady, sounding as pissed as always.

My friend?

I took large strides to the door, pulling it open with a confused frown. "What friend?"