XLI

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            I was not doing well with being bedridden. I had to of been a terrible patient because I did not stay in bed. I was constantly pushing my body to its limits. By the time a week passed, I was in the full swing of motions.

I fainted twice, ripped a line of stitches open, and nearly lost my footing on an icy patch on the roof. But I was moving, keeping busy, and that was the only thing keeping me sane right now. Everything else didn't matter.

Rations, no, meals were being passed out as we sat around the table. It was odd to have such large portions that may have at one point been considered normal.

I picked at the food, my stomach turning at the thought of eating more than normal. My small snacks throughout the day had been what my body was so used to for months now, and those around me were quickly filling out.

"You need to eat." Laura pointed her fork at my salad that remained untouched in the bowl in front of me.

She insisted that we all sat at the dining room table together and eat like civilization was back. Like we weren't constantly fighting for our lives.

"It's not right." Frowning at the hefty meal in front of me.

"We've been over this," John grunted, shoveling his food into his mouth faster than he could chew.

"And its still not right. My people could be out there starving and I'm here eating like a King." The words were spit from my mouth as Mason stopped eating beside me. The other two could only eat so much before they are stuffed as well.

"Your people are probably dead." Johns words were blunt as he stopped eating to clearly speak the words.

My fist was hitting the wooden table silenced the room as I stood up, my chair falling behind me. "What did you just say?" My teeth were clenched, my words seethed as Harry straightened up in his chair.

John didn't say anything as he continued eating. "My wife and child are out there and you're going to say things like that!"

"He didn't mean anything by it." Laura was quick to rush to her own husbands' defense. "Please, sit. Eat your meal." Her words didn't meet my ears as I left the dining room, the door slamming behind me as I sloshed my feet through the snow.

I was shaking with rage as the cold infiltrated my system, calming me down. I was terrified that the words that man, that stranger, just spoke were true.

I was fucking terrified.

If they were dead, there would be nothing I could do about it. I couldn't take it back, I would just be Eli. Eli and Mason again.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Red and Ember made us something more, they gave our life purpose.

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