HipHop Phile || BTS x Reader [COMPLETE]

9. Finding Out

Hoseok walked you home after a few more rounds of hide n seek with the maknae line. You actually had the most fun in days. It was too often that you started crying in your room thinking you're not good enough, that you don't deserve to be in this world.

"Goodnight (y/n)! See you tomorrow!" You flash him a fake smile mainly because you were starting to feel useless. You didn't even bother asking if he was okay with bringing you home, or you could've just walked home alone, you thought.

"Mom... I feel so useless!" She looked at you with a worried expression and walked up to you, holding your face. "Any specific reasons why? Honey?"

"I'm just... useless! I can't do anything right!" You looked down, wanting to feel tears flow down your cheek. "I'm not hungry mom. I'm going upstairs."

Your mom did not bother you thinking it was just a phase, but she didn't think it would get worse either. She noticed some changes in you like not wanting to eat, and you always feel unmotivated to go to your class.

In your point of view, you felt fine, except for the extreme feeling of uselessness, in that case, you're not. You always think you're not improving at ballet at all. You fail to think about trying to improve at all either.

Hoseok thought you were acting a little strange too. He found you in the ballet studio being gloomy and cold, but as soon as you saw him, you decided to smile. The type of smile you see when you're not okay, but you're hiding it.

A few weeks past and you only got even more worse. Your mom was worrying because she had no clue why you were acting like this. She was thinking 'maybe it's depression' since your father died because of it, but she also thought is was impossible.

It was a little difficult to get you out of the house due to your mood, but your mom managed to bring you to a psychologist, since you weren't opening up. She didn't even think twice anymore and just pushed you out of the house.

"It's positive. She has depression. Did anyone in the family have depression?" Your Mother felt even more sad at the mention of the question, but she knew she had to be honest.

"Her father got depression after his mother died..."

"That may be the cause of her depression. It is possible to pass it on through Genetics. You should take her to me for sessions on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, maybe it would help." Your mom was hesitating knowing that it is expensive to get psychologic help. She walked away holding your hand telling the psychologist that she will think about it.

"Mom. I'm the worst! I don't deserve you! I'm just a sick teenager that's just going to die!" You weren't in your best state and so was your mom. She's flustered and wants you to get better, but she doesn't have the money to do it.

"You're perfect honey! Don't say that, you deserve to live in this world, and from what I know, I don't think I deserve a perfect daughter like you."
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