Aquarius (SOON TO BE PUBLISHED)

Chapter 19: Mixed Emotions

GENEVIEVE

I woke up debilitated because of the pain that I've felt before everything went black. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko pero isa lang ang alam ko, I'm hurt. I'm in pain. Hindi ko alam kung mapapatawad ko pa ba sila, especially Binx. I trusted him even though it's difficult sa mga couples na ganito ang sitwasyon ng relasyon nila. Ako may unique na allergy at ang karelasyon ko namumuhay ng normal. Nagagawa niya lahat, but me? Nasa hospital bed lang. Ngayon ko lang na-realize... mahirap. Ang hirap pala talaga. Parang gusto ko na agad sumuko. 

I tried to remove my oxygen mask but I froze nang maramdaman ko ang kamay na humawak sa may kamay ko. Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim saka ko inalis ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak ng isa pang kamay. Unti-unti, nakaya kong lingunin siya. I'm right. It's him. I felt it the moment he touched my hand.

His messy yet appealing hair always caught my attention. His hair symbolizes how handsome he is for me, but seeing Reanna's hand gripping into it, I find it repugnant now. His thick eyebrows defines how intimidating he is paired with both brown eyes that signifies his deep and unique personality is what I love the most in him but then again, that eyebrows and eyes became filthy after he stared at Reanna that's full of lust. He has also a pointed nose which he often used to smell me and now, he used it to smell Reanna's sh*ts. I have always admire his red and soft lips when he started to use it to kiss me. It tastes love and honesty but now, I think it taste awful and I don't want to taste nor feel it anymore. Maaalala ko lang ang ginawa nilang kababuyan ng nag-iisa kong best friend. Nakita ko rin kung paano hinalikan ni Reanna ang almost perfect niyang jawline na lalong nagpapaguwapo sa mukha niya. I disgust his whole face down to his body now.

"Anong lasa?" I asked out of nowhere while staring at him, showing no emotions at all.

"What?" His brows creased.

I laughed mockingly nang iniwas ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. Don't tell me hindi niya alam ang kababuyang ginawa niya? Wow. How ironic. Alam niyong may nagawa na kayong mali pero nagmamaang-maangan pa kayo. That's bullsh*t. If that's the case, then you're also fooling yourself.

"Masarap ba? Nabitin ka ba? Tumigas ba? Well, I can't blame you. After all, lalaki ka pa rin." 

"What are you talking about, Eve?!"

I can sense anger. Woah, don't tell me siya pa 'tong galit? Napakainosente niya naman ata. Eh, demonyo na siya the moment na hinawakan niya si Reanna.

I stared at him for a while waiting for him to tell how he f*cked up Reanna. To tell honestly the truth behind that scene. To admit his mistake. To apologize... but then again, I got disappointed nang titigan niya lang din ako pabalik na para bang okay kami... na para bang wala siyang ginawang mali.

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying at para kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang pagkakagigil ko dahil sa galit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"So, hindi mo magawa sa 'kin kaya ginawa mo sa iba? Dahil ba nandito ako naka-confine, may sakit? Dahil ba hindi ako ganoon kadaling makuha? Tell me, Binx. Anong dapat kong gawin so that you can f*ck me too?"

"Genevieve! Watch your words! You're taking it seriously in the wrong way. But, I guess, walang sense kung makikipag-usap ako sa 'yo ngayon."

Wow. Just wow. I'm speechless but I want him to realize that what they did was wrong! All wrong! Damn it! It's f*cking wrong, all right? Our body is not just a material thing na kakailanganin mo kapag nangangailangan ka tapos basta mo na lang iiwan pagkatapos mong pakinabangan. Our body and soul are one. Kapag nadungisan ang katawan mo, ramdam mo rin ito sa kaibuturan ng pagkatao mo. So, bakit masyadong nagpakababa ng ganoon si Reanna or either the two of them? I don't know the story but damn, it's really wrong. Maling-mali. Parang ayokong makarinig ng kahit na anong explanasyon mula sa kanila.