FADED ▷ Sam Winchester [2]

18 | SMELL THE ROSES

     I make it back to the bunker with teleportation. My fists are still bleeding. I breathe hard as I walk slowly down the stairs. I took my flannel off to wrap around my fists to somewhat stop the bleeding, but the only thing I accomplished was getting my nice blue flannel all bloody.

    By the time the boys get back I am sitting just down the stairs from the front door, wrapping my fists in gauze. I took a shower already and cleaned them. I cried a little too, in the shower. Obviously that d-bag angel Ishim had it coming but that was insane. I scared myself.

    As soon as I hear the opening and closing of the huge metal bunker door, I realize I should have stayed in my room to wrap these up. But I'm not going to bolt now; sooner or later they are going to want to talk about this.

    "How'd you get back?" Dean asks as he sets his duffel on the table a few feet down from where I'm sitting. I cut the tape with a pair of scissors and start on the next one. I can't tell by the sound of his voice if he is angry or not.

    "I teleported," I answer without looking at him. Out the corner of my eye I can tell they are glancing at each other, probably wondering when the hell I started teleporting.

    "Well, Lily's gonna stop killing angels now," Dean says as he shrugs his black coat off and pulls a chair out at the end of the table. I avoid eye contact, focusing on the task at hand. How can he even talk to me after what he saw me do back there?

    "Good," I say, barely listening. Getting up and going to my room is the best idea coming to mind on how to handle this situation.

    "Would you like me to heal those?" Cas asks as he sits across from me. Dean has gotten right back up and disappeared, after saying he's going to the kitchen to grab a case of beer.

    I shake my head and sigh, finishing taping my hands tightly. They won't need to be bandaged but only a day or so; it was probably pointless to waste the gauze tape on them but I needed something to do to take my mind off things.

    As Dean comes back with a case of beer in one hand and a half-eaten pizza in the other, he begins talking to me about what I did. "He had it coming, Bailey. Don't beat yourself up."

    I hang my head a little. "I could have achieved the same result by shoving an angel blade through his chest," I answer simply, trying to keep my voice calm. There's still a little bit of anger simmering deep inside me, but it's mostly aimed towards myself. "That was... murder."

    "Well, you saved us, so..." Dean continues. I shrug again, pushing my chair out and stand up. "This power of yours comes in handy after all."

    Something about his comment hits a sensitive area inside me, spiking my anger. I'm sure he meant it jokingly, but that doesn't stop what I'm feeling.

    "Well, I'm never using it again," I conclude with complete sincerity.

    "What?" Sam asks in surprise as he grabs a beer from the table himself.

    "If you repress your power, it could lead to something far worse than what happened today," Cas says. I clench my fists again, feeling sparks of pain. Maybe if I had cut my fingernails before we left yesterday, I would not have made freaking marks on my hands.

    "Something like what?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. Dean must be able to sense my inner anger because he raises a hand towards me.

    "Worst case scenario, you would die from keeping it in," Castiel says.

    "Hmm," the corner of my mouth turns up as I grab my flannel from the back of the chair. "That sounds like a best case scenario."

    I ignore their looks as I head to my room. Ugh, what a day.

     I go to bed shortly after that, my head is pounding and I need to sleep off this anger.

•••

    "Well, I can't find anything in this town's history about any witch-related deaths," Sam tells me from the corner table of the motel room. It's been a few days since we got back from that other case. Sam convinced me to come on this one with them even though I was still kinda drained from killing an angel with my powers.

    "No?" I say, folding a pile of clothes for tomorrow morning. We spent the day looking into a weird death, interviewed some people, but now Sam and I are back at the motel room. Dean wanted to be dropped off at the local bar so he could 'mingle with the locals', so it's just Sam and I.

    "Are you okay?" Sam asks as I rub my eyes and get ready for bed. Him and his brother have been asking me if I'm okay, which I think is stupid considering what I did. Shouldn't they be looking for a way to take me out in case I get out of hand? I could be dangerous.

    "Bailey?" Sam asks again, when I didn't answer the first time.

    "Yeah, yeah, just thinking," I wave him off and go into the bathroom, locking the door so I can brush my teeth and change into my pajama pants.

    Five minutes later I come out and find Sam lying in my bed. This happens on every case pretty much, us sleeping next to each other. It doesn't lead to anything, which is good because I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

    "You're on my side," I tell him as I flick the bathroom light off. I inwardly cringe as I realize that I sounded like his wife just now. Haha, yeah, right. A girl can dream though.

    Instead of teasing me about what I said, he just apologizes and scoots over. I smile a little at how nice he is.

    "What are you doing? Come over here," Sam says as I get in bed. Apparently I'm too far away from him. I scoot over and lazily set my arm over him, feeling him shift to slide his arm around my shoulders. I look forward to these moments, the feeling of security that I get from him. I wonder if he feels that way with me too. I mean, I am pretty badass.

    Sam doesn't bring up the thing that happened the other day, and I'm glad. He must not mind me too much if he still wants me to sleep against him like this.

    After a few minutes of Sam running his fingers through my hair, I fall asleep. I didn't even realize how tired I was.

***

A/N: have some short fluffy garbage while I write the next chapter, which will be longer xD