lovelorn [h.s.]

t h i r t y t h r e e

H A R R Y

As I watch Scarlett leaving the party with Zayn, it feels like the equivalent of her walking over to me, ripping my heart from my chest, tossing it onto the floor and smashing it to pieces under her 5-inch heeled boots.

I don't really know why I just said what I did to her in the kitchen, but I know it was cruel and uncalled for. The only thing I could think about was standing in the corner watching
Scarlett sat close to Zayn, both of them drinking, talking, her laughing at him like he's the funniest person ever, his hand on her leg that I just wanted to storm over and tear off. I was raging, especially because the thought of them together has always made my blood boil.

I also know it was my fault, that I shouldn't have been so petty and showed off Bella in front of her, knowing that it would make her mad, but I just couldn't help it. I'm drunk, I'm pissed off, I have too much pride, and I just wanted to hurt her in the way that she always seems to hurt me.

But now I realise just how selfish that is. She doesn't mean to hurt me. She doesn't know how I feel about her, or at least she doesn't know the multitude of those feelings. She doesn't know that I'm fucking in love with her.

And how could she? She has no way of knowing, because every time I'm on the verge of telling her, I turn into a pathetic wimp and can barely get a word out. No wonder she's so mad at me.

Like most drunk guys in my situation probably would, I'm tempted to just grab Bella or maybe some other girl and take her home with me, just like Scarlett did with Zayn. But I know that I don't want to do that, and I don't think I'd physically be able to do it anyway. My heart just wouldn't be in it, because my heart, as much as I don't want it to, already belongs to somebody else.

So instead, I just throw myself back onto the couch in the corner and shamelessly drink the night away, staring down at the bottom of empty beer bottles. Although what I see in the reflection of the glass isn't my face, but Scarlett's.

——————

S C A R L E T T

"I can't believe him! He's such an asshole!" I snap, still seething as I walk down the street with Zayn at my side.

"I know, you've said that about 50 times."

"I can't help it. He just makes me so mad!"

"I can see that," he muses with a smile, making me roll my eyes playfully. "What's exactly going on with you two anyway? One minute you're best friends like normal, and then you're pissed at each other again."

I let out a deep breath, shrugging my shoulders in reply. "I don't really know what's going on," I admit honestly, nervously playing with my hands. "I guess we just get under each other's skin sometimes."

Zayn nods along with my words slowly. "I guess so," he says, although his tone hints at further words he wants to say, and I can't help but pick up on it.

"What?" I ask, shooting him a curious look.

"Well, I just think that there's something happening between you both."

I raise my eyebrows, pretending to be surprised. "Between me and Harry?" I ask and he nods, making me scoff. "Yeah right."

"No, I think there really is," he tells me. "I see it whenever you're in the same room together, especially lately. Even when he's with Bella, he's always looking at you."