lovelorn [h.s.]

f i f t y t h r e e

^ the picture above is an idea of Scarlett's bridesmaids dress in this chapter. The other bridesmaids are wearing the same colour, but the dresses are in different styles

A.N. Another surprise update just before 2019 is over!! Go read the new Espionage chapter if you haven't already, happy new year!! 🥂🥂

6 months later

SCARLETT

My eyes flutter up to look into the floor length mirror I'm currently stood before, watching the movements of my own hands as I carefully slide the silver hoop earrings into my ear.

At first, my mum practically shuddered at the thought of her bridesmaids wearing hoop earrings, stating that it would make her wedding look tacky. But, after I presented the hoops I had found for each of the bridesmaids which are relatively small and sophisticated, she soon changed her mind, although she still insisted she wasn't going to wear them and was going to stick to the diamond studs Evan got for her birthday instead. Which I thought was fair enough, as it is quite a cute nod to her husband to be. Not that he even remembers buying the earrings though, but that's a different story.

Seeing as I was appointed maid of honour, my mum allowed me quite a lot of creative input throughout the planning process of the wedding, which seemed to surprise everyone else and especially me. But I enjoyed it and it was a great distraction, which I think is one of the main reason she did it, but of course she's never admitted that. I was dragged along to all the cake tastings, the tours of possible venues and the photographer scouting, not to mention having to sit there while my mum tried on dress after dress, every one killing off yet another one of my brain cells.

It worked out rather well though, because it was when I was flicking through the racks out of complete boredom that I found the perfect bridesmaid dress. My mum was quite skeptical about having the bridesmaids wearing blush because she had her heart set on ivory, but after I tried on the dress, both her and all the shop assistants agreed that I had to wear that dress, so the colour scheme was changed.

My mum even had a tear in her eye when I walked out of the changing room in the dress, telling me that I was going to look so beautiful on the day of my own wedding. I was tempted to say that I probably wasn't going to have a wedding seeing as I've lost the love of my life forever, but I didn't want to upset her or destroy her dreams, so I just smiled at her instead.

A lot of time has passed since I last saw Harry. Seasons have come and gone, the flowers have died and then bloomed, the leaves on the trees have disappeared and then re-emerged, and they will begin to change colour and eventually fall from the branches as summer draws to an end and autumn creeps in. The weather has switched from subzero to warm to swelteringly hot, but throughout it all, I've remained as cold as I was the day I left Harry.

After I returned from my trip with TJ, which mostly just consisted of chasing down small-town lowlifes, I spent the next few months barely leaving my bed. At first my mum thought I was just slipping back into my old ways, but then she realised that unlike last time, I wasn't angry. I wasn't slamming things around or causing a scene or being reckless, I was simply just in bed, doing absolutely nothing. Needless to say, she grew a little concerned and ended up taking me to the doctors, where I was prescribed this medication that I can't remember the name of or really pronounce, but it actually has been helping. The doctor said that based on my medical files, I probably should've been put on it years ago. But you live and you learn, I guess.

With the help of a few doctors notes, I was allowed to finish the rest of my classes online. I'm a little behind and I still haven't decided what I'm going to do after exams, but I've decided not to worry about that until after summer's over. Seeing as TJ has ruined both my relationship and my friendships, I haven't spoken to my friends much, but I've seen from social media that some are off travelling, some are already working, and some are preparing for university in September. I have no idea what Harry's next steps are because TJ made me block him on everything, and I'm pretty sure he blocked me back, but I understand. I deserve it.