Chapter Fifty-Nine

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*definition will be reject*

Oliver woke up to see his baby sister swinging her legs back and forth on the chair beside his bed. "Hey, Pip, what're you up to?" he asked tiredly, reaching over for his water.

Pippi was quiet, swinging her legs back and forth. Harper eventually walked in, looking exhausted and sad. She gave Oliver a tiny smile. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"Your dad called. We... didn't tell him."

"Mom, you don't... you don't think I did this because I don't love you, do you?" asked Oliver quietly. "Because Spencer thought that, and that's just not true."

Pippi was shivering, and Harper hugged her gently. "You'll... understand why that's hard for us to believe, Oliver," said his mother softly. "Don't you?"

"I love you guys," he said. "That's... why I wanted to do it. It was stupid logic, twisted logic, but logic nonetheless."

"Do you hate us?" whispered Pippi.

"No. I could never... never ever hate you."

Spencer walked in, before his eyes widened. "No, Spence, stay," said Oliver, as he made to back out. "I need your help for this."

Spencer narrowed his eyes, moving closer to the bed and bringing Pippi into his lap to comfort her. "What do you need my help for?"

"You're better at words than I am."

"Better Englishing, you say?" asked Spencer with a tiny chuckle, and Pippi giggle weakly.

"That doesn't make sense, Spencer," she said, and Spencer kissed the top of her head.

"I can't... explain why... I thought this would be the best scenario. But Spencer heard what I was talking about on that roof. Maybe he can help explain."

Harper was silent, staring at the floor. Spencer had inherited his mother's ability to read a room. Pippi was sad, because her brother had tried to leave her. Harper was conflicted, because she couldn't tell her husband all that was going on. Oliver felt guilty for putting them all through this.

But Spencer couldn't read himself. That was his weakness.

It didn't matter now, though. "When Oliver was on the roof, all he kept saying was that he wanted me to look after you two," said Spencer in a monotone voice. "He couldn't help but feel that if he was gone, things would be easier on you. One less person to look after. One less mouth to feed. I would be able to look after you two just fine. Everything would be better without him."

Harper let out a small sob, and Pippi was crying too. "But Oli, you're my big brother," she said tearfully. "You're the only big brother I'll ever have."

"You have-"

"Spence isn't my big brother. Spence is like my big brother, but no one could be my big brother except for you."

Oliver was silent. Harper whispered, "You should've thought about Dad, honey. How would we tell him that this happened?"

"He's never even home," said Oliver quietly. "He'd never even notice. I'm not the son you deserve. You deserve someone better."

Harper kept sobbing loudly, and Pippi just held onto Spencer, crying too. Spencer didn't know what to do or how to feel. Since Sally had disappeared, he hadn't even responded to his emotions or needs, not really. He'd eaten when given food, quenched his thirst if someone handed him a bottle of water, but rarely actively took care of himself anymore. He didn't know if he had the energy for that these days.

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