Exiled (AmBw)

Chapters 17

Naoto: "Watch your head." Naoto said, helping me into the passenger seat.

Layla: "Thanks."I said, slipping into the seat.

He closed the door before making his way to the driver's side. I took this brief moment alone to straighten up and calm my nerves. I strapped on my seat belt and tried to get comfortable.

'This is so silly, Layla, your acting like a schoolgirl. Calm down.' I thought, anxiously waiting for him to get in. 'He's just a guy. Yes, he's an attractive guy, but he was still just a guy.' I thought, taking a deep calming breath.

Naoto: "Ready?" he said, buckling himself in.

I quickly nodded my head, and he smiled before driving off.

We sat in silence as he drove. I didn't particularly know what to say, and all my attempts at starting a conversation failed because I kept psyching myself out. Every time I thought of something to say, I talked myself out of letting it slip out of my mouth.

Naoto: "You don't have to be nervous around me, you know?"

Layla: "What? Nervous? I'm not nervous." I said, startled.

Naoto: "Of course you're not, but you should probably tell that to the notebook your about to rub a hole into." he said, referring to the small tendency I have of fidgeting when overthinking.

Layla: "Oh, I didn't realize." I said, moving my book out of reach.

Naoto: "You look like you're being interviewed for your first job, the way you're fidgeting." He chuckled.

Layla: "Oh no, I was a million times more nervous then. "

Naoto: "Really?" he asked, amused.

Layla: "Oh, yes, definitely, this is mild compared to then, so it's a good thing that this isn't an interview." I said, relieved.

Naoto: "Who said this wasn't an interview?" he quickly looked over at me. "You got to grill me a few minutes ago. It only seems fair, don't you think? Tell me something about you."

Layla: "Well, you pretty much know everything about me. My age, favourite gum." I said, remembering him listing off facts about me.

Naoto: "I only know the basics. Things you tell everyone. I want you to tell me something" He briefly paused. "Real."

Layla: "Real? Are you calling me fake?" I joked.

Naoto: "No." he laughed. "I mean, tell me something no one else knows or wants to know about you." He said, completely serious. "Let's cut out the unnecessary pleasantries and small talk."

Layla: "I don't think we know each other well enough to talk about those things."

Naoto: "That's what makes this so perfect. No biases, no judgment, just two almost strangers talking about things that the other probably won't remember. There is no pressure to say the right thing out of fear that it's going to be used against you. You have fifteen minutes of raw truth, go for it. What do you have to lose?"

Somehow the thought of being completely truthful with him made my heart panic. The uncertainty that lingered at the idea of talking to him so freely worried me. 'Should I really do this?' I thought, contemplating whether I should say anything to him. Taking a deep breath in, I sighed before I spoke.

Layla: "I..." I paused. "I don't know who I am," I said, letting it sink in. "I know that sounds so millennial of me. Just saying it crawls my skin, but it's how I feel. It's how I've felt since my parents passed away." I shuffled in my seat. "I don't mean 'Who am I?" in the sense of, I'm trying to find myself and my inner peace or whatever cringeworthy inspirational posts there are on Tumblr or Instagram. I mean, in the sense that I have no clue who or what I am."