Exiled (AmBw)

Chapter 21

Venturing closer to the soft light at the end of the hallway, I could hear the semblance of a voice.

Layla: 'He's home.' I thought, recognizing Naoto's voice.

After reaching the entrance of his office, I stood quietly, resting against the door frame. Naoto talked on the phone as he walked around his office, going through papers on his desk. I watched him roamed around, pulling samples of fabric and folders from his bookcase, comparing them to what was in front of him. While he spoke, periodically, he'd clench his jaw while rubbing his temples. I presumed he had a headache. I would have made my presence known but watching him handle his business kept me captivated. His intense focus on his work, even though he seemed tired, intrigued me. I wondered what was swirling around in that mind of his. I watched on until his eyes caught mine, my heart paused for a second, from his stare. I went to whisper 'hi' to him, but he quickly put up one finger to stop me from speaking then, in succession, he gestured me to come in then pointed to a nearby seat for me to sit. I was caught off guard by his instructions but followed suit. Quickly walking over to the chair, I sat quietly, waiting for Naoto. I watched as he paced around his office, glancing over at me periodically as he spoke on the phone. I assumed what they were talking about overwhelmed Naoto because he collapsed back into his office chair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he propped on the armrest of the chair. He sighed, rubbing his eyes before he spoke again. 'His headache must be getting worse,' I thought, concerned before I decided to go find him some painkillers. I swiftly got up and left his office.

I searched through a few cupboards before I found a bottle of ibuprofen. After getting a cup of water, I hurried back to Naoto's office. Before I got too far, I noticed his food was still on the table. 'He didn't even eat, no wonder he has a headache.' I thought, looking at his dinner. After warming it up, I walked into his office 'balancing' his food, utensils, a glass of water, and a bottle of painkillers, on a tray. Naoto was looking away, so he didn't notice me until the glass on the tray tipped over onto his desk. Quickly recovering, I saved most of the water but whatever spilt out covered some of Naoto's documents. Naoto shook his head as he held his papers, phone still to his ear. For the third time today, he looked at me quite disappointed.

"I'm sorry." I mouthed to him, upset at myself for being so clumsy.

"It's fine." He mouthed to me, shaking his head as he dabbed up the water with a nearby towel.

Naoto:" Yeah, I'm fine. I just knocked over something," he said into the phone, shaking his head again.

And again, his look stung deep, making my shoulders and my spirits sink.

I wanted to apologize for what I did, but he was backing me, sorting out the wet papers. Instead of staying and being more of an inconvenience, I wrote on a sticky note near me and stuck it to the tray before I left the room.

'Layla, really! Can you not do anything, right?' I thought, frustrated with myself. 'What the hell is wrong with you." I scolded myself on the verge of tears. I argued with myself all the way back to the room I was staying in. I cried as I packed my things, the whole time I thought about how much of a nuisance I had been throughout the years. My aunt loathed me, but still took me in after my parents died. My manager despised me but put up with me and, my ex cared about me, but most days, it felt like he only tolerated me. And now, Naoto can't even look at me without wearing the same expression worn by everyone else around me. 'How do I keep doing this?' I thought, sitting on the bed, my things packed. I wanted to call Chisato to thank her before I left, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had a feeling she'd hurry back home to stop me from going. It's her bachelorette party tonight. She shouldn't be disturbed because I can't seem to be anything else but a complete mess. She shouldn't have to put up with me, no one should.