Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|6|

"Do you wish to join Thunderclan?"

As the leaders' eyes flicker with memory, that question won't stop ringing in [Y/L/N]'s head. Each cats' eyes lay on her, and she realizes that all of them have excitement and hope in their gazes. [Y/L/N] scans the clearing, seeing if any cat had anger in their eyes or distrust. But each cat seems hopeful that she would join. Squirrelflight had a calm body posture, but her eyes were stretched wide with excitement. She eventually saw Jayfeather, too, looking at her even though he's blind, with hopeful eyes. Firestar looks at [Y/L/N] patiently. "I--..." [Y/L/N] sits with her jaws open, not knowing what to say.

She was just invited to join a group of wild cats.

Firestar flicks his tail. "I will give you time to think about it. If you wish to join us, go to the border of at sunrise." He pauses, and he points with his tail towards Jayfeather. "Jayfeather will be waiting for you. Leafpool, could you escort her to the border?" Relief floods [Y/L/N] as she feels the pressure ease off her shoulders. "Of course, Firestar." The beautiful brown tabby from before pads over to [Y/L/N], and motions with her tail for her to follow her as she walks towards the border. [Y/L/N] follows her quickly. Breaking the silence, Leafpool speaks up. "I'll walk you to your den." "That's... Unnecessary." "I insist. I need a walk anyways." [Y/L/N] nods briefly and brings her to her den in silence. "I haven't seen this strap of territory before. This is beautiful, [Y/L/N]." [Y/L/N] flicks her ear, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Yeah uh... Please take this to your clan to thank them for me. I insist." [Y/L/N] nudges the plump rabbit from before towards Leafpool. "Our clan will thank you. Prey has been scarce this leaf bare."

-Leafpool's POV-

I won't tell her that I can clearly smell Jayfeather's scent in her den. I don't think she even knows that he lied to us about where he's been on the night of the Gathering. She's been through enough stress lately, plus it would probably make her feel bad. I won't talk to Jayfeather about it, either. He would probably get upset at me. I don't need to stir up drama; especially when the clan might get a new clanmate.

-End of Leafool's POV-

"I'll be heading back now. I hope ill see you tomorrow." Seeing the hopeful gleam in Leafpool's eyes, [Y/L/N] doesn't think she could turn down the offer. "Okay. Goodbye, Leafpool." "Goodbye!" Leafpool sprints off into the forest, leaving [Y/L/N] dumbfounded. I might as well go hunting. If Leafpool says prey must be scarce, I should at least make myself useful; especially if I might be joining them. [Y/L/N] stalks her way towards a tree, hearing faint bristling in the leaves under it...

-End of the hunt-

[Y/L/N] pads back to her nest after she caught a vole, two young squirrels, and a mouse and notices its already getting dark. [Y/L/N] sighs loudly. Every day into leaf bare seems to get shorter. Biting into a mouse, [Y/L/N] begins to think about the offer. Ugh. I'll just wait for Jayfeather to come tonight. Until then... [Y/L/N] finishes her mouse and steps outside, gently wetting herself with the icy water of the waterfall. It's freezing, but I won't be able to sleep with this stench on me. [Y/L/N] gently ducks into the waterfall, scampering out soon after. [Y/L/N] shakes herself dry, licking the rest of the water out before gazing at the stars. Spottedleaf... Please help me decide. After silently praying to the StarClan that was only recently introduced to [Y/L/N], she lays in her nest and drifts off to sleep.

[Y/L/N] wakes up to it still being dark with a cat grooming her stiff F/C fur gently. As Jayfeather sees her stirring, he pulls back and lets out an annoyed hiss. "Why are you so cold and damp? It's leaf-bare! Mouse brain." Not thinking he would have woken [Y/L/N] by grooming her, he looks away sheepishly.[Y/L/N] rolls her eyes. "What do I do, Jayfeather? I don't know what to do! I didn't even mean to go there in the first place..." [Y/L/N] drifts off, ignoring Jayfeathers question about her cold fur. [Y/L/N] closes her eyes, patiently thinking to herself and waiting for an answer as Jayfeather starts squinting at her again.

-Jayfeather's POV-

I could hear her thoughts buzzing as if they were my own. What if no one likes me? Will Jayfeather and I still talk regularly? I'll miss him if we don't. Will Spottedleaf be mad? They won't think I'm loyal. I've always fought for myself my whole life, could I really change to be like them? Do they think I can? If I join, will Spottedleaf punish me? What do I do? Spottedleaf, send me a sign! Can you hear me?

-End of POV-

[Y/L/N] starts trembling from her own thoughts. Her thoughts are interrupted by a soft voice coming from above, and she looks up desperately, not seeing anything. Jayfeather, too, flinches. "It is okay, little one... Do not fear..." [Y/L/N]immediately recognizes the soft voice, as it trails off.

Jayfeather touches [Y/L/N]'s shoulder with the tip of his tail. "Join us, [Y/L/N]..." [Y/L/N] hesitates. "Okay. For you, R/T/N/K, and Spottedleaf."