Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|10|

[Y/L/N] wakes up again, and not because of a nightmare. Spottedleaf... [Y/L/N] looks around her den, happy to see the sleeping warriors around her. Being so alone was horrible, even if Jayfeather did visit me sometimes. I'm glad I'm finally fighting for more than myself. Peering around the brambles to check how late it was, [Y/L/N] sees a familiar set of eyes staring right back at her. She cocks her head and gently steps out of the warriors den, making sure not to effect any of the sleeping warriors. After checking to make sure she didn't upset anyone, she carefully steps up to Jayfeather. "Jayfeather...?  Are you okay?" He blinks a few times, wondering if his blank staring at [Y/L/N] woke her up. "Of course I am!" he spat. After looking at him confused for a few minutes, he decides to finish the story. "I couldn't sleep, so I went to check if you were awake. I would have checked  if Leafpool was awake too, but if I even went near her while she was trying to sleep she would probably claw my ears off. You obviously weren't awake, and I was about to go back to my den but you woke up." he mumbles. When I first saw him, it didn't look like he was going anywhere.. "Oh, okay." Clearly aware that she didn't believe him, he rolls his eyes. "I'm going to the lake. You can come if you want." Not giving her time to respond, he already is making his way through the trees of Thunderclan. [Y/L/N] follows him hesitantly. Jayfeather looks back, surprised she came, and slows his pace so she can catch up. [Y/L/N] and Jayfeather soon arrive at the lake.  After sitting in silence for a few minutes in front of the lapping waves,  [Y/L/N] notices there's another cat approaching. "[Y/L/N], you do know medicine cats cant have mates, right?" Lionblaze?  [Y/L/N] notices Jayfeather bristling beside her. "Of course I know that, Lionblaze. Why?"  [Y/L/N] tilts her head expectantly, now standing face to face with the golden tom. "You seem to be getting pretty close to my brother and I don't want either of you hurt." Jayfeather lets out a startled hiss, and  [Y/L/N] lets her tail fluff up. "Excuse me?" "Lionblaze, I think you have the wrong idea. We're friends." Jayfeather finishes for her. Lionblaze hangs his head and sighs. "Since your my brother, I wont tell anyone about... What ever you think this is. You did the same for me." Memory flickers in Jayfeathers eyes for a brief moment. "There's nothing to tell anyone, Lionblaze." he mutters angrily. "There's nothing against  her being my friend in the medicine cat code." To this, Lionblaze simply nods, knowing he wasn't going to win. "Alright. I just don't want either of you hurt, okay? I'm just looking out for you. Goodbye  [Y/L/N] and Jayfeather!" As if nothing even happen, Lionblaze holds his tail high and bounces back to the warriors den. [Y/L/N]  flattens her ears out of surprise. "I'm sorry that happen. I really didn't expect it." Jayfeather says, his voice coated with embarrassment.  [Y/L/N] lets out a small reassuring purr. "Well it was something, wasn't it..?"Jayfeather nods bluntly. "I'm going to go back to my den and try to sleep." he murmurs drowsily. "Same here. Ill see you tomorrow." padding back to camp together,  [Y/L/N] lays down again in the warrior den, thankfully not waking any warriors. 

   [Y/L/N]  wakes up, still shaken of what happen last night. Wait... Isn't my warrior ceremony today? Still unsure,  [Y/L/N]  begins to groom herself just in case. Firestar notices her, and jumps onto the Highrock. "May all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather below the Highrock for a clan meeting!" his voice rings across the clearing, and other cats emerge from their den. Luckily finished grooming herself,  [Y/L/N]  listens intently on what the Thunderclan leader is about to say, but he beckons  [Y/L/N] with his tail. She obediently steps in front of him at Highrock. He gazes down  at his clanmates approvingly and each one of them have excited smiles spread across their muzzle. His forest green eyes rest on [Y/L/N]. "I, Firestar, leader of Thunderclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this loner. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn.  [Y/L/N], do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" [Y/L/N] holds her head up proudly. "I do."  "Then by the powers of Starclan , I give you your warrior name.  [Y/L/N],  from this moment on you will be known as [Y/W/N]. StarClan honors your courage and bravery, and we welcome you as a full warrior of  Thunderclan." Firestar rests his muzzle on [Y/W/N]'s head, and instinctively she licks his shoulder. The clan begins chanting [Y/W/N]'s new warrior name. "[Y/W/N]! [Y/W/N]! [Y/W/N]!"  Jayfeather, Lionblaze, R/T/K/N, Squirrelflight, and Brambleclaw are definitely cheering the loudest. Pride swells up in [Y/W/N]'s belly, and shes heard that newly named warriors sit a silent vigil guarding the camp that night. She knows she has to, too. Firestar jumps off of Highrock, and [Y/W/N] follows. Feeling like shes about to explode from excitement, [Y/W/N] swings her F/C tail in the air happily. R/T/K/N runs up to her with admiration in his eyes. "Ill be a warrior just like you one day!" Knowing she cant say anything, [Y/W/N] smiles and touches noses with him. Lionblaze cheerfully pads up to her. "Good job, [Y/W/N]." he turns away and Jayfeather hesitantly comes after. "I'm proud of you," he meows, knowing he would regret it later. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw sprint up to [Y/W/N] with paws light as air. "You saved my kit! I'm so glad your a warrior now, [Y/W/N]." Squirrelflight says happily. "You also fought a badger! You deserved to become a warrior." [Y/W/N] flattens her ears in embartassment, though a huge smile full of pride was painted across her muzzle. "She even knows about the vow of silence." Squirrelflight meows proudly. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight walk away with their tails intertwined, murmuring lovingly to each other. Maybe ill have a mate like that one day... Knowing the possibility probably wont happen, [Y/W/N] lets her tail droop slightly and then it jolts back up again in happiness of becoming a warrior. Briarlight drags herself towards [Y/W/N]. "You'll be a great warrior!" She mews. [Y/W/N] sees a tint of jealousy in Briarlights eyes before remembering she would never be an ordinary warrior again. I feel so bad for her... She deserves to be a warrior. She has as much courage as a lion has strength. [Y/W/N] shoots her a sympathetic glance and begins to guard the camp in silence.

-Timeskip to nightfall where all the warriors are asleep.-

  [Y/W/N] still guards the camp in silence, knowing she must do it for the night. She forces her eyes to stay open, already tired before she sees a golden tabby coming towards her. Fear washes over [Y/W/N]  for a moment until he looks at her curiously. "Its Lionblaze. I know you cant talk, but I have a lot to talk about." Lionblaze pauses as if he was thinking about what to say. [Y/W/N] pulls her ears back in fear, not knowing if he was going to bully her or what. "Look.. So don't tell him I told you, but its about Jayfeather." He flattens his ears painfully, clearly emotionally breaking to be betraying his brother like this. Lionblazes golden pelt shines under the light of the moon as he continues. "Do you remember how you were trapped by twolegs, and Jayfeather saw you, but Spottedleaf rescued you?" [Y/W/N]'s eyes widened  at the fact Lionblaze knew about that, and Spottedleaf. He calms her with a flick of his bushy tail. "Its about that, too. Like how Jayfeather saw you were in trouble..." His voice trails off, and he takes a deep breath, as if hes preparing himself. "[Y/W/N] ... The day you were born, Jayfeather, Hollyleaf and I were going fox hunting as kits." [Y/W/N]  tried not to stifle a laugh at that idea but lets a smile drift across her muzzle. "Yeah, stupid I know. Anyways, that day is the first day he heard you. Your mother was giving birth to you, and had a successful birth. You were the only kit, and Jaykit heard your squealing as your mother gave the final push. He told me about you, but no other cat knew about you. He was worried because when loners gave birth to kits with no one to help them, the kits usually died soon after. When he became an apprentice, he wanted to check on you again, so he did. Checking on you became regularly and nightly for him. I still was the only one that knew about it. He also realized your mother just.. randomly disappeared one night. It was soon after she taught you how to hunt. He didn't notice her disappearing but he came back one day and she just wasn't there, and you were mourning over her clueless on what happen. You didn't know where she was." After looking at him in astonishment, Lionblaze realizes he was probably scaring her. "I-I'm  sorry... I don't mean it in a creepy way! You just lived a hard life and he wanted to make sure you were safe, since you didn't have cats to look after you if something happen... In leaf bare when prey was short even for your territory, he would sneak some fresh kill into your den. You always thought it was your mother coming back to look after you and you talked to her, even though she wasn't there. You didn't know it was him because you didn't know how to find cats through scents at the time." He flattens his ears, still unsure about betraying his brother. "That's how he knew you liked to decorate your den with feathers and pebbles. When mist from the waterfall soaked your moss bed, he would refresh it while you were hunting. H-He even started a small herb garden for you by your den, hoping you would use it and take after him... I'm sorry, I'm probably saying too much." That explains a lot. I cant believe I've had a cat looking after me all of my life and I never even knew it. "I have to go now. Don't tell Jayfeather any of this. In fact, don't even think about it in the morning. Hes very... Errr... Well, lets just say he can assume a lot of things based off of body movements. Yeah. That. Goodbye, [Y/W/N]!"

 He runs off absolutely horrified at himself for what hes just revealed back to the warriors den, and [Y/W/N] continues guarding the camp while thinking about what Lionblaze had just told her.