Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|30|

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, my lovelies! If you were like me and had no one you'll probably be wanting an update from an X Reader, so here we are! Get your tissues, this ones goin to be depresso. Also! This is going to be long since there are so many infrequent updates. Alright, enjoy!

[Y/W/N] was dreaming. She viewed the clan from high in the sky; one with the air. There was fighting, so much blood. Cats she'd never seen before that were hardly visible were killing her clanmates, with moves she never thought she'd ever have to see. She saw Spottedleaf, not so sweet as she hurled herself at wounded cats, lashing at anyone who got near. Yellowfang was fighting too, and she even saw Bluestar. Forbidden by Starclan, cats were tearing each others throats open. Horror overwhelms her. She saw herself fighting, her stomach heavy with kits. No. That's impossible. That can't be right- queens couldn't fight! She then saw Daisy struggling to defend the nursery, the safest part of the clan. "No." She refused to accept this. She saw the elders fighting. Mousefur was flinging herself at cats and Purdy was defending her, right at her side. "STOP, PLEASE-" No cat heard her. [Y/W/N] saw Jayfeather struggling to get to every cat he could. and her heart breaks. He couldn't get to all of them. "I'm so sorry." One cat seems to be glowing before her, in the center of the battle. He was just next to her. The fighting [Y/W/N] didn't see him. Jayfeather yowls to her, but his scream drowns with the others. She sees Zapper appear at her side in an instant. She hears herself hiss. "Zapper! You told me you wouldn't fight!" Zapper nods. He didn't break his promise. He'd never, not to [Y/W/N]. Breezepelt knocks himself into [Y/W/N], throwing her on her back. Jayfeather watches in horror, trying to get to her, but crashing into cats left and right, Thunderclan and not. [Y/W/N] watches herself squirm. "Breezepelt! I thought we were friends! How could you do this to Thunderclan?" "Key word; WERE friends." [Y/W/N] gasps as he thrashes his claws down her stomach full of unborn kits. Blood pours out of her. Jayfeather was too late, he crashes into Breezepelt as soon as he's finished. [Y/W/N] never knew Jayfeather could be so violent; let alone while being blind. Tears were streaming down his face as he pinned him down and raked his claws across his throat. Breezepelt had no time to react before he bled out, but he was satisfied- he had hurt him more than he would've if he killed Jayfeather himself. [Y/W/N] was barely conscious. "[Y/W/N]- I'm so sorry," Jayfeather whispers, laying down next to her. "It's-" [Y/W/N] coughs up blood. "It's okay. I love you. We'll have the most beautiful kits in Starclan, Jay." Jayfeather chokes up a sob but he knows she's right. She could never survive with those wounds, and her kits were likely already dead. Soon, her life fades away from her, and Zapper waits for her as she leaves her body. "I missed you, Zapper." "I missed you too. Come, my dear kit," he murmurs. "It isn't safe here for you or them." His tail waves to her kits, coming to settle by her paws. They were so small, but their eyes were open and full of stars. Jayfeather seems to see them, too; he stares at [Y/W/N]'s Starclan figure with the three kits at her paws.

Three.

[Y/W/N] purrs as she remembers what she said to Briarlight so long ago, when they were going hunting and she caught her first kill. "Fine, but only if we have three." I won't break my promise, Briarlight, she vowed to herself. Jayfeather touches his muzzle to hers. "I'll miss you, Jayfeather, but we will visit you. Hurry up and pick a name, would you? Zappers growing impatient." "...Streamkit." He murmurs, as he looks at a kit with [Main fur color] fur and gray spots. "Where did you get that, my love?" [Y/W/N] chuckles. "You used to live by the waterfall, and it had a small stream connecting it. Mouse brain..."  "I love it. I'll name this one Palekit," She wraps her tail around a small, light-gray she-cat. "She has your pale eyes." [Y/W/N] meowed. "They're perfect." The last kit had [E/C] eyes and white fur, with a single hind leg being gray. "Briarlight can choose her name." [Y/W/N] said. Jayfeather nodded. "Goodbye. I'll see you soon, in my dreams or not." He said this with a cold tone, but she felt the warmth. "Farewell, love." Zapper and [Y/W/N]  pad over to Briarlight, who was in the nursery. "[Y/W/N]- No- Please-"  Briarlight whispers. "It's okay. Come on, I didn't lie to you. Name him." She nudges the final kit near Briarlight, who looks at her  lovingly. "I'm going to name her Lightkit. I hope you remember me when you see her." "I will. That's a beautiful name, don't you think, Zapper?" "It is." "If we can have kits in Starclan, you can name the next one." "I'll have to ask about that..." Zapper, [Y/W/N] and her kits make their way into the ruins of Starclan to wait out the rest of the battle. [Y/W/N] watches over Jayfeather, who doesn't leave her corpses side unless its to help another cat, of which he immediately comes back.