Dear Evan Hansen Oneshots

Sincerely Three

TW: Suicide attempt?? Kind of??

Evan sighed. He was sitting at the small desk in his room, tapping his pencil on the smooth, wooden surface, a blank peice of paper in front of him. There were a few pictures sitting on the desk, one of him and Jared, one of Jared and Connor, one of him, Jared, and Connor, and so on.

Dear Connor and Jared,

I don't know what to say. I have no words. Maybe that's the reason I'm doing this. I don't know. I just wanted to tell you..this is not your fault, nor anybody else. It's mine. I'm sorry. Just... I can't do this anymore. I can't continue driving you two insane, you don't deserve it. I'll miss you guys, so much. Take care of each other, alright? I'll see you on the other side.

-Evan

Evan folded the paper, slipping it into a small, blue envelope. He licked his finger, then used it to seal the note inside, as of not to get a paper cut. He stood up, making his way into their hallway.

Connor was sitting at the dining room table, sketching on a peice of blank paper. Jared was sitting in the living room, scrolling through Instagram on his phone.

"I'm going for a walk," Evan said quietly, picking up his coat, but not putting it in on.

"Okay," Connor mumbled, not looking up from his paper.

"Be back by seven, we ordered dinner." Jared said, giving Evan a small wave. Evan laughed, shaking his head. They barely ever made dinner around the house, and when they did, it was almost always instant noodles, or an oven pizza. Evan walked towards the exit, but stopped at the doorway.

"I, I love you guys."

Connor hummed, still not taking his eyes from his sketch.

"Love ya too, babe." Jared said, finally picking his gaze up from his phone to look at Evan. "Be careful, okay?" Evan's eyes widened. Did they know? How could they? They didn't. Evan nodded, walking out the door.

Evan sniffled, stuffing the note into the mailbox. He let out a small laugh, tears forming in his eyes. He wished that he could go back inside, tell them everything. He really did. But, he didn't want to bother them any more than he already did.

He tasted the tears pouring down his face as he licked his lip, trying to bring any kind of warmth to his face. Yes, he brought the coat, but he felt like he didn't deserve to wear it. Stupid, but, it was true in his mind.

Finally, he found himself at the local park. This time, he would do it right. He wasn't going to mess it up. Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Evan picked it up. Jared. They probably found the letter. He put it back, letting it continue to ring. Finally, he found a tree tall enough. It was easy to climb too.

He started to climb. The cold, forming wind whipped at his face, making his nose run and his cheeks turn pink. The sky was turning a dark grey. He kept climbing. It started to rain, making the wood underneath him slightly slippery. He kept climbing.

Until he finally reached the top.

His phone was still going off.

***
"Hey, Evan?" Jared said quietly, looking at his hands. "I know we're dating Connor, too, and he probably won't mind, but, can I kiss you?" Evan's eyes grew wide, his face turning a light pink color.