I See You [REWRITING]

chapter 12: instincts

I wait for him to say something, anything to make this not look like what I think it is but it never comes. He doesn't scold them, or jump up to my defence and I realize I should have trusted my instincts. Felix Montgomery is nothing but a football player with an ego and a God complex.

He isn't the guy from the roof.

Instead, he's a guy willing to break my heart to get a laugh.

"Calm down," he chuckles. "You know I'll tell you as soon as I do."

"So...that's what this is to you?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest to get his attention.

It shouldn't affect me as much as it does, but when he turns to look at me it takes everything in me not to cry. It's not until now that I realize I had been hopeful. I wanted him to be who he said he was and I'm let down, because he isn't the guy I want him to be. For someone who wants to be in a shadow, away from his name he has a really funny way of showing it.

"Nicks, it's not what you think," Felix jumps up at the sight of me, his eyes pleading for me to believe him.

I shake my head at him and back away, "I should have known better. You're exactly who I thought you were and I don't know why I even thought for a second that you weren't."

"Stevie..." he frowns and reaches for my hands when I take a step backwards. "Let me explain."

"Explain what exactly? You did just tell them you'd let them know, didn't you?" I ask as I drop my arms, pulling on my shirt sleeves. "You're nothing but an egotistical asshole."

"Come on," he reaches for me again but I shake my head. "Stevie."

"You're a liar, Felix," I frown and head down the stairs, completely forgetting my backpack behind me with the feeling of the walls closing in around me. Suddenly feeling suffocated and in need of a way out.

"God damnit, Gavin," Felix growls as I head for the gym exit, his voice carrying after me. "Stevie, wait!"

"Not interested," I tell him as I speed up my walking, heading for the halls while avoiding people sitting on the floor as I search the walls for my locker.

I'm not going to let him do this to me. I'm not going to think I did something wrong or pass it off as boys being boys, because it's not that. It's more than that. It's boys thinking they can get away with talking about girls like they're objects put on this earth for their enjoyment.

We're not.

I'm not his toy to be played with.

"Stevie, hang on," Felix says as he grabs my arm, forcing me to turn and face him. "I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that."

"No shit, Felix."

"That's not what I meant," he sighs.

"Then what did you mean?" I ask, searching his face to watch the emotion flicker. Wanting to see if he means anything he says, or if it's all just bullshit.

"I shouldn't have said that. It's just the guys and I said it to get them off my back," he sighs. "It's just shit we say. It doesn't mean anything"

"Are you serious?" I frown. "The boys being boys excuse is getting kind of old, Felix. I liked the guy on the roof. He was sweet and it's become very clear to me that's not who you are and I can't believe I even thought about going out with you for a second."

"Stevie," he sighs. "Please just ignore what I said. It was dumb. It's not important."

"It is important and the fact that you don't think it is, is a huge problem," I exhale softly and shake my head as I tucked my hair behind my ear. "You're not the person I thought you were."