I See You [REWRITING]

chapter 21: feeling safe

When I wake up the next morning, it's too the ambush of text messages filling my phone and sending it wild. With a groan, I turn onto my side and reach for the device off my nightstand before turning onto my back. Before I can even bring my phone back to life, it's lighting up again with texts from Robyn and Isla.

There excitement for my first date with Felix tonight turning my feelings into nerves I can't control. Nerves that are leaving me to spiral, and everything becomes overwhelming. Everything inside my curling up in fear. Robyn and Isla are only being supportive and I'm thankful for that. They want me to be happy but right now, I'm waking up with knots I've never had before. So tight they're almost painful and I worry that it's my bodies way of telling me this isn't right. That going out with Felix is a bad decision.

But then I see it, amongst the mass messages from my two friends. The only text I need to calm me down and leave me with a feeling of serenity.

Felix:
I can't wait to see you tonight, Nicks.

It brings a smile to my face as I lock my phone once again, resting the screen against my chest as I stare up at the roof. I know my anxiety is getting the best of me, creating unnecessary feelings of fear. My body reacting to a danger that doesn't exist, preparing itself to flee.

Taking deep breath for good measures, I sit up and open my messages again. I quickly scan through the numerous texts from each of them before typing my reply as I climb out of bed.

Stevie:
im awake! calm down
you can come over whenever you want

Robyn:
We'll be over in an hour.

Isla:
Sounds good to me, and don't tell us to calm down!
We're allowed to be excited.

I laugh at Isla's text as I wander out into the hall. They are just being my overly excited best friends, excited for the exciting thing happening in my life and I am too. It's just my overthinking gene that is sending me on a rollercoaster I can't get off of. Every time I think I've calmed myself down, the fear fills my chest again leaving me with one instinct – to run.

Heading for the staircase, I'm determined to calm my nerves before Robyn and Isla get here. Just as I reach the top step, ready to head down stairs I notice that Isaac's door is cracked open and a hum leaves my lips as I turn around. Resting my fist against the wooden door, I open it a crack wider and poke my head inside.

"Ike?" I hum his name.

"Hey Vee," he turns on the couch, dropping his controller on the couch cushion next to him when he hears my voice. "What's up?"

"Do you have a second?" I ask.

"Yeah, for you, always," he bobs his head and smiles softly. "Last night went pretty well, hey? Mom and dad didn't scare Felix off, did they?"

"Not yet at least," I laugh lightly as I step into his room and walk over to the couch, taking a seat. "Did Mika have fun?"

"Think so," he nods. "He didn't tell me that he didn't, so I'll take that as a good sign."

I smile gently. "You two are doing good?"

"Better than good," he admits. "It's going to be odd. All of us are going to have someone except for Greyson. Never thought I'd see that day."

"I know," I laugh as I bring my legs up onto the couch and ball the fabric of long sleeve shirt in my fist, rubbing my thumb over the stitching. "Me either."

"You okay?" Isaac asks suddenly when he sees the nervous gesture.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can," he nods. "What's going on?"