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I wake up very early on this Wednesday because I cannot sleep. I've been tossing and turning all night long and just couldn't close my eyes. I've told my self, Lacey and Jamie that I was going to tell Tyler today but I don't know if I can bring myself to it but I need to get it off my chest. He's going to find out sooner or later and he has to know about it. Jamie comes back Friday morning so maybe I should wait to talk to him about how I should come out and tell Tyler but I don't know if I can wait more days.
I get up out of bed and go to the kitchen to grab an iced coffee from the fridge then I go sit on the couch scrolling through my phone looking at all my social media's.

I sat on the couch, on my phone, watching tv, and trying to go back to sleep for a few hours. 11am came around and Tyler finally woke up.
"Morning E" he says hanging over the back of the couch to give me a kiss on my forehead.
"So... I just got a text from coach. I have some news" he starts to say and I start to panic.
"What? Where? Why?" Is all I say thinking he was going to tell me that he's getting traded to another team.
"No no. We're good I'll be w the stars for a while, they aren't getting rid of me Ellie. Don't worry. It's nothing like that... it's actually about a game. An outdoor game. At Gillette stadium."
"What? Oh my gosh! Wow! That's so exciting. I can't wait to watch that. We're going back to Boston, playing a team we were both on. Back home Tyler. These games are an experience. It's amazing to play in. Cold snowy December Boston weather. I cannot wait" I sat with a lot of excitement.
He can't stop smiling. "I got some news too.." shit. I shouldn't have said that. It just came out of my mouth. I wanted it to be a better time. I don't want to tell him now but I have to since I said I have news. He'd never let it go until I tell him because he knows there's something.
He's standing there patiently staring down at me. "Yeah? What is it?" He asks.
I take a deep breath. "Let's go in the room" I say getting up.
He sits on the bed.
"Tyler, will you go look in my makeup and hair stuff drawer. I have a surprise I guess it is." He looks nervous. "What is it."
"Just go look." I stop him before he opens the bathroom door. "Wait! Before you go find it, I want to tell you I don't know how you'll feel about it so.." he walks in the bathroom while I turn around, close my eyes and take deep breaths. In and out. My heart keeps beating faster and feels like it's going to burst. I hear the drawer open and him rummaging through it since it's buried in there.
I turn around and he picks up the pregnancy tests and stares at them. "What's this? Who's is this? Ellie, are you.." I plop on my back on the bed and cover my face with tears coming out of my eyes. I feel like just breaking down. I don't want him to hate me, leave me, not care, not help, kick me out, not wanting to have a kid, and everything like that I am thinking about.
He sets down the tests on the sink and comes to sit on the bed with me. He grabs my hands away from my face and just looks at me. I have no clue what he's thinking.
"Are you pregnant Ellie?" I shake my head 'yes'.
"I'm going to be a dad" he whispers to himself in shock. I still can't read what he's thinking.
He puts one arm around me and pulls me into his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry" I start to tear even more crying to Tyler.
He gives me a look once again and bear hugs me. "Sorry for what Ellie? This is the most amazing gift. We're going to be parents. Sure, were very young to be parents but this is a great thing. I know you're scared but so am I. Everything happens for a reason Ellie. We're careful everytime but the man upstairs has something planned for us. He wouldn't have put a human in your stomach if he didn't think we couldn't raise it or do this. We're going to do this together no matter how hard it's going to be. I love you Ellie."
I just lay in his shoulder for a few minutes thinking about what he had just said to me. I was happy with what he said. I was surprised too.
"Tyler, I thought you were going to leave me and not want anything to do with me or this baby. I didn't know what to do just them thoughts kept running through my head that's why I was hesitant to tell you. I've known for sure since yesterday because that's where I went- to the doctors with Lacey. For me. Not her. But Saturday was when Lacey made me take the tests. She came over when you guys went to the store. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for keeping this a secret." I tell and explain to him everything.
"Ellie, quit saying your sorry. I understand why you kept it from me. If I were you I'd be scared out of my mind too. Id never leave you. No matter what. We're just a little out of order here. We moved in with each other before we were dating, then we started dating, got pregnant and then in the future we'll get married. I want our kid to witness that." I laugh at what he says at the end because we are mixed up a lot with how life should go.
"Thank you for everything. I'm glad you're excited. Love you lots. I'm just glad I finally told you because I didn't think I ever was. My next appointment is December 6th if you don't have practice or anything, I'd like you to come."
"I'm so excited. I want to be there for sure. I'll miss practice to go to the appointment. I want to be there. By the way, you're one hot sexy momma"
I laugh. "Jamie actually already knew. Since yesterday. Lacey's been there from the start. I would like to tell our family when we go home for Christmas or when we all go to the outdoor game. I just don't want the world to know yet until we tell our family of course and when we're in the safe zone of the pregnancy. I'm only 5 weeks so.."
"He knew?" I laugh and shake my head. "But that sounds good babe. How about the guys on the team?"
"I would like to wait a few more weeks. You know, if you can be quiet with this secret for that long."

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