Shadow

It's complicated

I'm up at 4:00 in the morning on the hardwood floor stretching my body. My legs spread open as far as they can go as I lean my body forward, chest touching the floor as my spine stretches making satisfying cracks and pops. I stand up and bend backward feeling pain. I instantly jerk up and grab at my ribs. I close my eyes in frustration.

Come you have to get yourself together and in shape if you going to to have to kick demon ass.

I bend backward slowly till my fingertips reach the floor and my palms heavily following. I lift my right leg straight in the air and push my lower body off the floor with my left failing and landing gracefully back. I let out a shuttered breath and push harder using my broken core to haul my lower half up. Successfully landing with a quiet graceful thud, I twist my upper half loosening it up further.

"You should be asleep" his deep voice calls.

"Can't"

I glance at him as he leans against the railing of the staircase, cigarette hanging limply giving off the toxic smoke in small clouded whispers. I bend forward and flip gracefully forward feeling a sore pain side again. Deciding to try something different I dip down slowly into a split feeling my muscles tightening from lack of practice. I hear his bare feet slap against the floor as he walks over my back leg to the kitchen.

"What are we doing today?" I ask.

" I am going somewhere with the guys" he says.

I pop up and watch him as he pours milk into the dry cereal.

"We need to find my grandmother" I state. When I don't receive a response I walk over to the island where he eats in peace. I step up on the bar at the bottom of the stool placing both hands on his shoulders hoisting myself up. I begin to rub his shoulders, strong and anxious.

"Relax" I whisper softly.

His shoulders still tense I rub them softly, pressing my fingertips into his skin. I run my palms down his chest in a slow motion and press my chest against his back connecting our breathing.

"Tell me about yourself" I speak. His shoulders tighten I pat my hand lightly as if to say 'please let me finish'. "You know everything about me, but I know nothing about you" I say.

"It's my job to know everything about you" he mumbles chewing the cereal extra hard.

I spot rubbing, fury building him veins.

"And it's your job to eat me out as well?" I hum sweetly. 

God he pisses me off.

He sighs deeply and puts his spoon down and brings my hands off his chest and from around him as he turns to face me.

"Don't give me that bullshit about how you regret, you choose to do that" my voice harsh. He leans back and I place my hands on my hips staring him down.

"It's complicated....what we have" he starts.

I throw my hands in the air scoffing in belief speaking to myself, "Why do I even try, at the point?"

I begin to walk away, but he grips my wrist but I pull it away and walk upstairs. I hear his feet slap against the floor after me but I pretend to pay it no mind as I go over to my messy bag grabbing clothes and necessities.

"Can you listen to me?" he speaks calmly. I stop dead in my tracks and turn towards him slowly.

"That's the only thing I've been doing. Listen to everyone. Listening to my mom, listening to Thomas, listening to my grandma, I don't want to listen anymore, you regret what we did I get it. I was vulnerable so I let you in, so half of this is on me as well, but do know that it will not happen again" I finish and turn towards the bathroom closing the door after me.