Chapter 40

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LOOK at this picture of yoongi- we stan a beautiful un-whitewashed mans

Yujin's POV

"What are you doing here?" I asked. My eyes were cold as I stared down the woman before me, my voice holding no hint of emotion. "How did you even know I lived here?"

She shifted anxiously, wrenching her hands together before her. "That isn't important. I wanted to talk."

I gave a chaste, humorless chuckle. "That's funny, because I have nothing to say to you." My arms were crossed in front of me to portray my defensive exterior.

My mother sighed, her shoulders slouching as she pinched the bridge of her nose. It was then I took notice to the poorly-covered bags under her eyes and the unkempt nature of her hair and outfit; her usually meticulously done nails were chipped, a sure sign that something was the matter. She looked at me with tired eyes. "Please, Yujin. If you don't have anything to say, then let me do all the talking. Please." Her final plea was nearly a whimper.

I bit my lip as I observed her again. I supposed I really had nothing to lose because of her at this point. Then again, I also had nothing to gain. But she  just looked so hopeless...

I blew out a breath. "Fine. I'll hear you out, but no promises beyond that. Wouldn't want you getting your hopes too high."

She let out a shuddering exhale as she nodded, hesitantly moving after me as I turned on my heel and entered my apartment, not giving her any instruction. I gestured for her to sit on the couch as I remained standing, leaning against the wall.

"Go ahead."

She swallowed before beginning. "First off, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm truly, genuinely sorry for everything I've done. It's unforgivable."

I chuckled again. "You're right. We're far beyond forgiveness at this point."

My mother nodded in agreement. "I know. I know, and this has been eating away at me ever since we had our falling out, but I felt you deserved an explanation. The way I behaved towards you was unwarranted."

I kept my line of sight at the pillow beside her as I nodded at her words. She continued.

"Everything I did," She paused. "Was because I was scared."

My eyebrows scrunched as a genuine expression finally worked itself onto my face. I was confused. "What do you mean?"

She heaved another shuddering breath. "Neither you or Yoongi knew, but your father and I have been separated for some time now. We didn't want to burden either of you with our issues so we kept it to ourselves, but it's been affecting me worse than I would've thought."

I shook my head, scoffing in disbelief as I glanced away. "That doesn't excuse everything you've done to me. You've been terrible to me for years."

She nodded again. "I know, but the reason I've been so tough on you was because I didn't want to lose you like I felt I had Yoongi. I'm so incredibly proud of your brother, but he's off living his own separate life now; he doesn't visit me often and he certainly doesn't need me anymore. So, with everything between your father and I happening... I lost sight of myself. I was doing everything I could to keep you beside me, as selfish as I know that is. But I was desperate, not in a proper state of mind, and losing everyone around me. I couldn't lose my only daughter, too." She sighed in defeat. "But I only ended up pushing you further away." She rubbed at the creases of her eyes.

Taking all of this in was harder than I'd initially believed. It was strange to see the woman before me with her walls down, she'd always been so tough and neutral about everything. I didn't think she was capable of losing composure, yet here she was on the verge of tears before me.

"What do you want me to say?" I finally asked after a moment of silence.

She bit the inside of her cheek for a moment. "I don't know. Nothing. You're not obligated to say anything, I just want you to know that from the bottom of my heart- I'm sorry. I don't know how I'll ever be able to make it up to you, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying."

She stood from her seat, gripping her purse tightly as she headed towards the door, leaving my pondering self against the wall in shock. She opened the door to leave, and without even thinking the words burst out of my mouth. She halted.

"I can't tell you things between us will work out but... we'll work on it."

She glimpsed back at me, her lips titled upwards only slightly as her eyes shined. "That's more than I could ask for.

And with that, she showed herself out.

~*~

Just as I was beginning to become immersed in my movie, wrapped in a soft blanket, the front door was thrown open rather suddenly.

"We're back and we brought Thai!"

I nearly fell out of my seat as I jumped from the unexpected outburst. A gleaming Hoseok burst in, clutching two filled plastic bags, followed by the other 6 members of BTS. I stood up while chuckling lightheartedly.

"You just scared the shit out of me." I playfully punched the main dancer as he set the food down. I clapped excitedly. "This is exactly what I needed, though, so you're forgiven."

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around me from behind as a kiss was pressed into the crook of my neck. A chin rested on my head. "How are you, my love?" Jungkook asked as he swayed us from side to side. "I missed you."

I couldn't help my grin. In just 5 seconds the boys had already cheered me up and lightened my mood. I squeezed his arm that rested beside my stomach. "I'm good, babe. I missed you, too."

I turned around to gauge my brother's cringing and the rest of the guys' smirking.

"It's been like four hours since you last saw each other." Yoongi quipped.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh shut up and grab the beer from your place. We're having a movie night."

~*~

i felt like this chap needed some lightheartedness so i inserted that last bit
sorry for the wait!

i also wanna take a second to recognize the fact that THIS very story has made it to the top 6 finalists of the KFIC Producer Awards hosted by yoon1122  .... i'm speechless. i thought it wouldn't make it past like preliminary judging, nevermind be in the running for winner. i'm extremely humbled and grateful for this opportunity and consideration and am already beyond satisfied with the results.

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