-Love In A Life Of Sin✔️-

Chapter18-My Big Drug Dealing Baby.

JAYS POV

I held Beyoncé's hand tight as ever as I opened the door to our temporary home. Considering the fiasco that went down the last time I left without telling her, I wanted to make my baby happy and get her settled before I headed off.

After looking around the house, bey and I collapsed on the couch.

"Hey baby?" I whispered to her.

"Mhm."

"I need to go out." She turned to look at me with a disappointed expression.

"Ok well be careful." I smiled at her and kissed her. "Are you going out now?"

"No I'm going at like 2, maybe three am."

"But Shawn...know what never mind it's alright." Bey flashed me a forced smile then turned away, holding her chin in the palm of her hand. She gets like this whenever we talk about my work and it makes me sad and frustrated at the same time. At the end of the day I have to hustle hard to take care of the both of us and bey knows that. I'm not asking her to like it, I'm asking her to accept it and not give the silent treatment anytime I mention it.

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing shawn it's really fine."

"No it's not! Whenever I say anything about me leaving you, you start moping!" I yelled and Beyoncé looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"O-okay I'm sorry I'm sorry, just please don't be mad at me." My heart sunk at her lack of sassiness and back talk. Bey could have said so many things to me to shut me down, but she didn't. Why? I got up and bey shuffled back on the sofa, putting her hands either side of her. The paleness in her face and her shaking body said everything as I towered over her. I got down on my knees In front of her and held her hands.

BEYS POV

"Are you scared of me?" His deep voice rattled through my body as my jaw trembled. Yes of course you scare me, Shawn.

"N-nope."

"Are you lying?" He stared at me and for some reason I started breathing heavily. Was this all from fear?

"No baby. I-I.. Why would I,.. No I'm not.." He sighed and looked at the floor. I am so transparent.

"Baby listen, I am on my knees for you okay." He straightened up and tightened his grip on my hands. "What happened the other night was a crazy mistake and I'm so sorry that I did that to you. I hate myself for that. I don't want you to fear me bey, that's not healthy in a relationship. I will never hurt you again, I promise." I could hear how sorry he was but I still wasn't sure. He has broken 90% of the promises he has made to me. Still I nodded and agreed with him. He sighed again and I saw him glance at the bruise on my cheek that he made. His head hung low in shame as he Whispered,

"Beyoncé are you happy in this relationship?" I can't honestly say yes, but I can't honestly say no. I love shawn and I want to forgive him and forget this. So why can't i? Apparently staying silent after his question wasn't a smooth move.

"Bey?"

"Yes baby?"

"How about I drop you off at a hotel, give you a million dollars to run away and start a new life away from me with your family." I immediately sat forward shaking my head.

"No no no! I don't want that!"

"Just tell me what you want! If you want me to leave your life and save you all this trouble, I'll do it. I would move mountains and give you the world. I just want you to be happy.. Even if that means being without me. I love you too much to see you being miserable."