Heartbreak [Jack Gilinsky]

XXVII - Apology

authors note;

short and not edited and bad but enjoy¿

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My sperm donor greeted me as I sat down in the passenger seat and shut the door, staying quiet and looking out the window.

I knew it was rude after him picking me up from work without any complaints to still ignore him and not even thank him but just the thought of thanking him was enough to make me ball my hands in a tight fist and bite my lip.

"Are you sick?" He asked, driving away from school, briefly looking at me.

Not as sick as you, I thought, deciding to continue my silent treatment and looking out the window. Sometimes it was better not to say anything if you didn't have anything nice to say so really, this was for both of our benefits.

"You know Julia, when your mom and I met, we were both hormonal idiot teenagers, in need of some stress relief." He suddenly said after a long silence, keeping his eyes on the road. "It really was just a one time thing, no love or anything; I didn't even know her name at the time,

"But then a few weeks later she gave me a call, telling me she was pregnant. I knew what it was like not to have a father so I obviously told her I'd be there for her and the kid; if she'd even decide she'd keep the baby. And she did.

"We were together most of the time raising the baby and switching so we could still keep up with our studies and eventually I asked her to marry me. I did love your mother, I just wasn't in love with her. I guess I was only thinking about you and your brothers having a stable family environment...

"I'm only telling you this because I want you to understand I'm not some complete asshole backstabbing your mother. It was wrong for me to be having an affair, but meeting Grace made me feel so alive after so many years, and I really do think I'm in love with this woman. The reason I kept it secret for this long is because I was actually just waiting for you guys to graduate so I could divorce without impacting you guys."

"I'm sorry, Julia, I didn't mean for you to find out."

"Why are you kicking mom out of the house?" I asked, staring at him.

He looked troubled, like he didn't want me to ask him this question, but he expected it.

"Now that the secret's out she hates me so to make it easier for her I figured I'd kick her out so she doesn't have to look at me or feel like she's abandoning you guys. I know it hurts you guys but the money she'll get from divorcing and child support will be enough to keep her stable without even having a job, she'll be fine," He explained, and I scoffed.

I shook my head looking out the window, deciding to still not say anything anymore. I needed time to process this. I knew eventually I was gonna cave in and forgive my dad but it's been like three days, it wouldn't be that fast. In a way I understood why he did what he did but he should have been honest.

Five years was a really long time to be keeping such a secret, and for a moment I was shocked none of us even realized he was having an affair. If he just came out and divorced five years ago we'd probably all be fine.

Then again five years ago Jeff graduated and I started High School. If my dad was to divorce during that time it would probably be really complicated for all three of us the more I thought about it.

When the car rolled by the house I didn't even wait for it to come to a complete stop before opening the door and jumping out, rushing inside and up the stairs to my room.

I closed the door behind me and fell down flat on my bed, thinking about Jack and what it would be like if I wasn't here. Would he go out with that Riley chick? And what was my brother going to do? Surely he'd come with us...