Illegal My Ass

Chapter 28- 'And by elephant, I meant his massive hard on.'

A/N: Right guys, this is not uploaded from my laptop as thats still in the hospital getting patched up, but i couldnt make you wait anymore so i rewrote the whole chapter on my friends computer.

I would like to saw a massive thank you to PotatoXHead97 for the AMAZING, IMMENSE, AWESOME trailer that she did for this book! i freakiing loooove it!

Also a massive thank you to Musically mine for the amaaaaazing banner! i love it!

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"Lacey you didn't have to skip school as well just to play dress up on me." I tell the crazy woman who was currently suffocating us both as she sprayed about a gallon of hairspray on my hair which she had already curled and back brushed

She didn't even blink as she was totally in her element "I once skipped school because I coughed and decided I had influenza. This isn't new to me."

I chuckled slightly, realising this girl would use any excuse to avoid triple sociology.

We were currently in my room and I was regretting ever telling her she could dress me up for this freaking wedding. We were due to leave anytime soon and she was applying the finishing touches to my makeup and hair. She had been dressing me up and styling me for about 2 hours now. She was like a woman possessed.

And she hasn't allowed me to look in a mirror for the last 2 hours. For all I know, I could look like a baby prostitute right now.

She plonked the can of hairspray on my dresser and looked me over, a proud satisfied smile forming at her lips.

"You're done." She nodded, gesturing her hands towards the mirror in the far corner of the room which she had covered with my coat so I wouldn't sneak any glances. I stood to my feet and walked over to it. She grinned at me, the excitement lining her face as she whipped the coat off whilst screaming "Taa-daa!"

I blinked a few times in surprise, not recognising the girl in the mirror for a second. Holy crap, Lacey was good.

I leaned closer to my reflection as I studied what she had done. My hair was in waves around my face, reaching about halfway down my back. I had my fringe area pulled up in a beehive, but not the crack whore beehive like Amy Winehouse, one of those ones that make you think 'hey sexy.' My eyes were lined with eyeliner, my lashes glued on but they didn't look fake. My lips were a faint red. All in all, the makeup was flawless teamed up with my ridiculously expensive dress and heels.

All paid for by the bank of 'I'm such a great thief I'd put John Dillinger to shame.'

"Well?" Lacey asked me anxiously. I could barely speak. Normally I'm too lazy to apply mascara, this was definitely an improvement.

"You are a fucking magician." I reply with honesty, because that girl is like Harry Potter only her wand is an eyeliner pencil.

Her grin spread over her face so fast I thought it was going to crack her skin. I smile back, loving the fact my friend was so easily pleased.

She clapped her hands like a little girl "I get to make you look smoking hot for your first date with Drake!"

"It's not a date!" I reply quickly and aggressively, causing her to try and hide a smirk.

Yesterday's shopping trip was very eventful. After Drake's 'fingers of fury' performance in the changing room, I was confused as hell. We didn't mention it for the entire time we were together, and basically acted like it didn't happen. It wasn't awkward, but you could tell there was an elephant in the room.

And by elephant, I mean his massive hard on.

Seriously from the look of that thing he could knock a Mexican gang over.