Chapter 11

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chapter 11 | april fools?

     Please don't break my heart. Yanan prayed silently as Elkie just kept on staring at him. She would open her mouth to say something and then close it again. And then, finally, she let out a nervous laugh. She laughed even louder later. "Ahahahaha! You got me! April fools!"

     He looked at her and smiled just a little. "It's not April, Elkie." He said softly.

     Elkie put her clenched fist over her mouth with wide eyes. "Holy shit. You're serious!" She exclaimed.

     Yanan couldn't help but laugh despite the situation. "Did I look like I was kidding?"

     She just looked at him again. Speechless.

     "Well, say something?"

     Her cheeks turned bright red. "Wow. I just. Wait. I need time to... process this new data."

     "Okay. You don't really have to say anything right now. Just. Maybe we should talk tomorrow."

     "Oh. Tomorrow. Yeah."

     Yanan sprang off the couch, heart beating fast. "Okay. I'll get going then."

     Elkie nodded. "Okay. G'night."

     Once the door closed behind him, Yanan let out a strained hiss and slapped himself a few times on the cheek. "Oh, Yanan, what have you done? I'm getting sick of your crap-"

     But then Elkie's door opened again. "Hey!" She said.

     "Hey!" He startled.

     "Were you really serious?"

     "Yep."

     "Since when?"

     "I don't know, too. I just know I hate when you go out with that guy. I'm scared you'd really end up liking him. I think about you way more than I should. You're really beautiful especially when you smile, and you get along so well with my mom. A lot of times when I look at you, I wonder what you think of me. Do you see me as a man? Could that be possible?"

     Elkie blinked, lips slightly parting as she listened to him. Yanan's cheeks were burning and it was definitely not because of the cold. He's talking way faster than normal and his heart was beating so loud it almost made him deaf.

     But since the girl he likes was listening to him, he continued. "You have really bad jokes and I know I glare at you often for them, but once you look away, that's when I allow myself to grin like a fool. Why was I smiling so hard for your jokes when they're so lame?"

     Elkie chuckled, her eyes shining. "Yah!"

     Yanan smiled, slipping his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. "And even if you talk about the same things over and over sometimes, when I'm with you, there's still no other place I'd rather be."

     "I don't talk about the same things over and over!" She said defensively.

     "Yes, you do."

     "Well... just... sometimes."

     "And I really don't hate eating with you. In fact, I love eating meals with you even if you take my food, too."

     "I know." Elkie said smiling.

     "I'm thankful that you came into my life, Elkie. I like you, not just as a friend. I really like you."

     Elkie looked down and when she looked at him again, her eyes were glassy. "This is really crazy." She said laughing nervously.

     Why does she look like she's about to cry? She doesn't feel the same, does she? He screwed it up again. "I should go home. Think about it. We'll talk again tomorrow."

     She nodded. "Be careful on your way."

     They stared at each other for a while and bursted out laughing despite the situation. She's the only one he could laugh with like this even in inappropriate situations. It used to get them in trouble in college.

     Elkie waved her hand awkwardly. "Good night."

     "Don't about think about me too much. You need to get some sleep." Yanan joked, but deep inside he hoped that Elkie would really think of him.

     Her cheeks flushed. "As if." She said, rolling her eyes. "Go."

     "Going. Good night!"

     Once her door was closed, Yanan ran around in circles, his chest feeling lighter.

• •

     Elkie stared into space as soon as she closed the door. She just listened to her heart motionlessly. And it's a damn wild festival inside.

     And then every corner of her small apartment was filled with her squeal. She ran around her small living room until her little toe hit the leg of the center table. "AHHH!" She shrieked, dropping on the couch and caressing her toe but even in pain, she couldn't help the smile from forming on her lips.

     SHE. CAN'T. BELIEVE. IT.

     Yan An. The person she's been in love with for so long, the person who she never thought would ever see her that way ㅡ just confessed to her.

     Elkie closed her eyes and smiled, clutching her chest. She let out a happy sigh before going to her room.

     Yanan was right. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Elkie had always thought about him before sleeping but tonight was different in a way that the hands of the clock have reached the A.M and she still couldn't stop thinking about him, tossing and turning on her bed.

     It's just too crazy. She saw him every single day of her life. She spent so much time with him, did so many things with him ㅡ but she had made up her mind that he'll never be hers because he was afraid to fall in love, and she didn't think of herself as an exception. She settled and kept her feelings at bay, silently wishing for him, despite knowing she could never have him that way. She wanted to be his friend, at least, for a lifetime.

     But then maybe little miracles do exist ㅡ because there he was, and clearly, she made his heart race too.

     The thought was enough for her to finally fall asleep with a smile.

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