When You Were Mine | Falice

Taken

Chic's a day old and Alice hasn't been able to take her eyes off of him. He looks just like FP with his big brown eyes. He has her lips but everything else is all FP.

She keeps his bassinet right beside her bed all night so she can pick him up quickly and take care of whatever he needs.

It's a Thursday which means Hal can't come visit which she's thankful for. She doesn't want to share Chic with anyone, she just wants to be able to love him and snuggle him all herself. She does however want to go visit FP so he can meet him, she'll have to ask when she can get out.

"Hi, baby boy. Whatcha up to, cutie?" Chic gurgles as she talks to him. Just talking to him seems to soothe him. "Why don't we take a picture so we can give it to daddy?" She reaches for the camera Fred had snuck in.

She lays Chic down on the bed and snaps a picture of him, taking an extra one so that she can keep it herself. "You look just like your daddy. So handsome." She picks him back up and peppers kisses all over his cheeks. "I love you so much, I know I say that a lot but I do. I'm going to give you the best life I can. Your daddy loves you too, you'll meet him soon."

_____

"Miss Smith, you have a visitor." One of the Sisters informs her.

"Send them in." Alice smiles, holding Chic in her arms.

Hal walks into her room and his eyes grow wide at the sight of a baby in her arms. "You had it?"

She glares at him. "His name is Chic, don't call him it."

"When did you-"

"Wednesday morning."

"But, I... how do you have him?" He looks at Chic as if he's the most disgusting thing he's ever seen.

"What do you- oh my God, it was you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sister Whitely came into my room yesterday to take Chic away, she said that in my file I had arranged a closed adoption but I never did."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"You're the one who arranged that weren't you? You're the one who told them I was putting him up for adoption."

"Alice-"

"How could you? He's my son!" Her eyes fill with tears.

"I just thought it would be better for you."

"But you didn't even ask me!  You just arranged for my son to be taken away."

"Do you really think you're capable of taking care of a child?" He joins her on the bed and she holds Chic closer to her. "You live on the Southside, your baby daddy's in jail, you're in high school. How is that a good life for a child?"

"I'm going to give him everything, I have lots of clothes, toys, diapers, everything. Yes it may not be the ideal life but he's so loved, I'm going to give him the world."

"I thought you wanted to go to college, no college is going to want some scummy Southside slut who got herself knocked up."

"You fucking asshole, how dare you! I'm your girlfriend, God knows why I gave you a second chance! I should've known you'd never change."

"Alice, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings I just want you to realize what kind of life he's going to have." He places his hand on her knee and looks deep into her eyes. "The Southside is no place to raise a baby, there's gangs and drugs, it's not safe. And what about the cost of raising a child? You don't have that kind of money, neither do your parents, how are you going to take care of him? And FP's in jail so it's like hell ever get to see him-"

"Yes he will!"

"You're going to bring a baby into prison?  That's great parenting, Alice. What if that influences him to be a criminal when he's older? Huh? And what about school, you won't be able to focus on your school work, you'll probably flunk twelfth grade and you'll be so busy with him that you won't be able to retake it. What kind of example does that set for him?"

She looks down at Chic who's staring up at her. "I guess I never thought about that."

"Exactly, you didn't think about anything! Alice, I'm just looking out for you that's why I did this." He sighs. "Alice, you're way over your head, you can't be a mother at 17. He needs a better life than that, he deserves something more than a mom who can barely provide for him. Don't you think he'd be better off with a family who can actually take care of him?"

"I guess." She sighs and feels Chic wrap his tiny fist around her finger. "But... he's my baby."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do! What kind of question is that?"

"Then let someone else take him in, someone who can provide a better life for him. If you really love him, you'll want the best for him."

"Okay." She breathes.

"Okay?"

"You're right, I can't give him the life he deserves." She feels a tear slip down her cheek. "He deserves the world, I want him to have it."

"I'll go talk to the Sisters so you don't have to." He presses a kiss to her forehead. "You're doing the right thing, Alice."

She nods silently and snuggles Chic closer to her. Hal leaves the room and she bursts into tears.

_____

"Miss Smith?" Sister Whitely comes into the room along with an adoption agent. "It's time."

"Can I just... have a moment?"

"Of course."

They start collecting his things and Alice sighs as she looks down at her baby boy. "I love you so much, Chic. I hope you know that. I just want you to have the best life possible and I don't think I'm capable of giving you it. I want to, God I want to, but I just... you deserve the world, baby boy." She tries to hold back her tears but they fall anyway. "I'm going to make sure your daddy hears all about you, he loves you so so much, and maybe one day we'll see each other again."

"It's time."

Alice nods and cries harder as she lifts Chic up to give him a kiss. "I love you so much, Chic."

The adoption agent takes Chic out of her arms and he immediately starts crying. They walk out of the room without another glance at her. She can hear Chic's cries as they walk down the hallway and it kills her. Deep down she knows it's for the best but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

She knows if they just let her hold him, or touch him he'd calm right down but soon she can't hear his cries anymore, they only echo in her head.