Intrigued

Chapter Thirteen

*Without you, if I try to do 10 things, 11 things go wrong. With you, if I try to do 10 things, 100 things go right.*

-Unknown

Roxanne's P.O.V

I got to Emily's, who was already at work, quickly grabbed my backpack and headed back out. School dragged and Brian was the only thing I could think of. I couldn't concentrate on a single thing my professor said, as she gave us instructions for the final. I found myself having to read and re-read questions ten times, because I couldn't even pay attention. I thought I would feel ready, and even though I didn't get to study as much as I would have wanted, I'm sure I would have been if I hadn't been so distracted. It isn't like I didn't know the material - I just couldn't focus. I finally handed it in, totally unsure of how I did and praying that I didn't just bomb it. I spotted Rob on my way out, giving him a smile and a small wave of encouragement as I walked out.

Mine and Brian's conversation from this morning was running through my head over and over, even still on the car ride back from school. It sucked, doubting yourself after you made a decision about something important to your life. It sucked not knowing whether you were doing the right thing or not. I got back to mine and Emily's at 6:30, immediately heading to my room and dropping into bed. 

I must have dozed off, and next thing I knew, she was shaking me awake. "What are you doing here?" She asked, sounding genuinely surprised to see me. I sighed, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. She got into bed with me, pulling the blanket over herself. "Is everything okay?" 

"I don't know." I replied honestly. I quickly relayed my concerns to her - the same thing I had told Brian earlier, hoping that she would have some advice for me. "I don't know if this is what I should be doing or not. I'm so confused. I just don't want to do the wrong thing, Em."

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I want to be with Brian. It's killing me, being away from him right now. But -" I began.

"And what does Brian want?" Emily cut me off.

"He wants me to come home." I replied.

"Roxanne, the only way you can do something wrong is if you do the opposite of what you both want."

"But, you don't think it makes sense to take it slow? I don't want to wreck everything by acting like nothing ever happened."

"Did you guys talk everything out when he got back to his house?"

"Yeah."

"Did you guys have make-up sex?"

"Yeah..."

"Sounds like you worked everything out, to me." She said with a shrug. "Honey, there's no protocol here. No one ever wrote a book of rules about what two people should do in this situation. And even if they did - every relationship is different. You have to focus on doing what feels right for you two. You're doing your relationship an injustice if you don't listen to your heart." She put her arms around me, holding me for a few minutes while I thought. "Should I help you pack?" She finally asked.

I paused to consider for only a moment before nodding. "Yes please." I relented. 

I was God awful at trying to stay away from Brian. It was about 10 p.m. by the time Emily and I had gotten all my stuff together and loaded it in my trunk. It was exhausting, and took forever, since everything from when we first broke up was still over here. Between school earlier and now this, I was so glad when we finally finished, and was just ready to go see Brian.