Intrigued

Chapter Twenty-One

*You can't keep doing this! You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay. You need to be better! You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career or when you were a kid. It's you, alright? It's you. Fuck man, what else is there to say?*

-Todd Chavez, BoJack Horseman

Brian's P.O.V.

A while later, I woke up groggily to movement next to me. I felt the bed dipping and the covers shifting. I closed my eyes again quickly - my first reaction, not wanting Roxanne to know I was awake. I wasn't ready to face her yet. I sensed her leaning over my face, and she kissed my cheek before cuddling up to me and putting her arm over me, hugging me tightly. 

"Hey, are you awake, sweetie?" She whispered. I sighed mentally, knowing I couldn't avoid this forever. "Bri?" She asked softly.

"Yeah," I answered, opening my eyes reluctantly.

"Hi, sleepy head! I just got home and wanted to talk to you before I passed out. I hope you're not mad I woke you up."

"No," I said sleepily, rubbing my eyes. "No worries." I assured her.

She buried her face in the crook of my neck, kissing me softly. "I'm so glad to be home. I missed you so much, baby. I hate being away from you; especially at night. I hate sleeping without you."

My stomach cramped in guilt. "Me too, babe." I responded softly. I slipped my hands up her shirt, rubbing her lower back. "You have fun last night?"

"Yeah, Jade and Raven flew in last night and surprised me! I haven't seen them in a long time. They moved out of state together after they graduated college. Miranda was the only one who couldn't make it, but that's okay. I had a great time anyways. I'm glad to be home though. My pregnant ass had enough excitement for a while! Did you have a good night, baby?"

"Uh, yeah." I answered quickly. "It was fun. Walt and Kevin didn't make it, but we had a good time anyways."

"Did you go to the casino like you wanted?"

"Yeah, I won five grand!" I said excitedly, suddenly remembering my good luck.

"Oh wow, awesome! Now you can buy me Chinese later," she joked.

"Gladly, honey," I agreed, laughing. "That actually sounds amazing." 

"You hungover?" She asked, leaning over and kissing me on the forehead. "You don't look so good."

I looked up, meeting her eyes, and nodded, pouting dramatically. "Yes, very. I made bad decisions and I feel like shit because of them. Now feel sorry for me."

She laughed, pressing her face into my neck. "Aw, my poor baby."

"Are you hungover?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Oh, shit yeah. I got so fuckin' wasted last night!" She exclaimed. "Brian - I'm kidding." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Better be." I mumbled.

I was glad for the change in conversation, and hoped she wouldn't ask anything else about last night. I reached for the remote, turning the t.v. on.  Seeing Roxanne just made me feel even worse; even more guilty. Thankfully, she relaxed into me and within the next few minutes I heard her breathing deepen and become more steady. She must have been exhausted to fall asleep that quickly. I figured she must have had a long night. I knew what that felt like. I closed my eyes, passing back out quickly.