Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

Diary's Page: 2

Dear diary, I must be dreaming.

Am I? If I am, please don't wake me up.

Yesterday, he barely knew me. But today, we spent all day together. It was because of a project, I know, but I felt in cloud nine.

The universe works in some mysterious ways, but I can't complain. How could I? Now I have a reason to know him better, now I can spend some time with him.

You should have seen him. He's perfection.

He was so excited when he picked the name for the duckling.

We're raising a duck together... Well, indeed, we're incubating its egg.

Isn't that weird? But at the same time, it's so amazing. He's so smart, he did so well making the proper research to take good care of it. I actually learned a lot about hatching eggs today, it was because of him.

I noticed how much he actually enjoys reading. He wore reading glasses, he looked so adorable. Oh, and when he was installing the incubator, he was so focused he kept biting and sucking softly on his lower lip.

I had to look away a couple of times.

Anyways, the egg is staying with me, but he will come from time to time to help me with it and see if we need to do something.

He named it Eggbert. It was so funny, I busted into laughter. But nothing was better than his own chuckles. Ah, music in my ears.

I was so nervous. We were all alone at my place, and his presence is just so mesmerizing to me. It's like every time I'm near him my brain stops working.

Like he's brainwashing me unintentionally.

I wanted to know him more, I wanted to ask him anything. What he likes, what he hates, or even stuff related to the project... Just to hear his thoughts.

But our time was short. It was suddenly over when she called him.

He called her beautiful. He said lovey dovey stuff to her in front of me. I felt like I had been stabbed straight through my heart. She wanted him to leave and go with her, and so he did.

It was painful.

But I know I have no rights to feel this way. I'm just his partner in a project. Nothing more. He isn't even interested in getting to know me. Not even once he asked anything about me.

But I still felt butterflies when he smiled at me.

My heart still skipped a beat when his face was right next to mine, so close in front of the incubator's light. I could feel the sweet smell of his cologne. Whenever he spoke with that thick voice of his, I felt like every hair on my body curled up.

No one has ever made me feel like this. Ever.

Why do I have to like him. It's not love, it can't be, we don't know each other really well.

But I just feel like losing my mind when he's around. Such a magnetic field he has.

I just like him so much. His face, his hair, his lips and that beautiful smile.

His dimples. Everything about him is just the cutest.

I'm pathetic.

Pathetic for being aware of how useless this feelings are. Pathetic for wanting someone who belongs to someone else so much.

I'm pathetic for not being able, or even wanting to get rid of this.

Stupid, stubborn heart of mine.

Dear diary, how do I stop this aching need to be close to him?