Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

f i f t e e n

We stand in the middle of the crowd having a chat as we wait for the winners to be announced. Jihoon stands next to me, holding my hand with our fingers intertwined while Yeonjun and Suri are doing the same in front of us.

"So what do you plan to do if you win tonight?" Suri asks.

Jihoon smiles.

"Well, celebrate I guess... This wouldn't mean much since I'd have to compete again to have the major prize anyways."

"I'm sure you're gonna make it, you were incredible. I didn't know I had a potential idol around me, but you're really talented." I say, encouraging him. He turns his head and smiles at me, before placing a soft, quick peck on my cheek that makes me blush.

"Is this the career you are looking for?" Yeonjun asks this time, moving his arm to place it around Suri's shoulders.

He nods.

"I've always wanted to be an artist, I've been practicing dancing and singing for years now." He explains, scratching the back of his neck nervously. I chuckle.

"It was totally worth it."

"I agree. It's nice to think that we could have a famous friend who will invite us to concerts and awards." Suri jokes, slightly pushing him playfully.

We all laugh until we hear the contestants being called to go to the stage. Jihoon smiles at me, letting out a big breath before he leaves to join the other singers. I can feel all the girls around glaring at me, but I don't pay attention.

I feel nauseous, just as if it was me who was competing. Suri laces her arm with mine, rubbing it with her palm to comfort me.

"It's okay, he's good." She assures.

I sigh, watching him standing there in front of us. The fluorescent lights illuminating his figure, and I can tell he's nervous by the way he keeps licking and biting his own lip. We lock eyes in the distance, I smile at him and give him a thumbs up that makes him grin.

But soon the moment we've been waiting for comes. Some other guy's name is called, the crowd cheers and screams for him as he bows with a big smile, making Jihoon even more nervous. I gulp, feeling my palms sweating.

But then... His name is called.

"Park Jihoon."

His face lights up immediately, and a big bright smile form's on his pretty face. Girls screaming all around us, a lot of whistling and applauses as he bows. The excitement and the same feeling of pride I felt before fills me entirely, and I can't help but scream and applaud for him too.

When he leaves the stage, he runs to me ignoring once again all the girls around him calling his name. I open my arms for him with a huge smile, and he wraps me in a tight hug, lifting me up in the air and making us turn around and chuckle. He puts me down, caressing my head and my face with both of his hands, then pressing his lips against mine.

"You made it, I'm so proud of you!" I exclaim when we finally pull away. I cup his face with my hands and caress his cheeks with my thumbs, genuinely happy for him.

Suri and Yeonjun join us right away, congratulating him and telling him how talented he is.

Late at night, we're all at Jihoon's place, celebrating his triumph and of course, his 20th birthday. We've been dancing and drinking for a while now, and even though I'm not drunk, I do feel like I've loosened up a lot.

Jihoon is leaning against the wall, holding his drink and chatting with Yeonjun. He's not wearing the red velvet jacket anymore, so now he's just on that sleeveless black and white stripped shirt he had underneath, making his biceps look incredible as he keeps flexing and moving his arms. His naturally tanned skin keeps pushing me to stare at him relentlessly and I'm confused about the way I'm feeling.