Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

n i n e t e e n

Leaving Kiyooung at home, I quickly take a taxi to go to Soobin's place. After telling the address to the taxi driver, I stare at the window and let my mind drift away the whole ride.

My heart feels heavy and my mind is full of questions, but the worst part is how upset I'm already feeling at the thought of him crying again because of her. I don't know what happened this time, but I'm scared of what I'm about to witness, because I know how much it affects me when he cries.

The car parks in front of the big house. I hand the money to the driver and get out of the car. I gulp, taking a deep breath and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I walk towards the wooden door. Knocking a couple of times, it doesn't take long until Yeonjun greets me with an apologetical smile on his face.

"Hey." I smile. He smiles back at me and wraps me in a friendly hug, patting my back gently.

"I'm sorry for this again." He apologizes. "I really didin't know what else to do." He adds when he pulls back, rubbing the back of his head.

I sigh.

"It's okay." I respond. He moves aside and lets me in, following behind me and closing the door. I turn my body and face him. "Is it really that bad?"

He nods.

"Wanna see?"

"Yes."

Yeonjun gestures me to follow him and that's what I do. We walk upstairs and reach one of the white wooden doors at the end of the hallway. We stand there silently, until he lifts his hand and knocks on the door.

"Soobin." He calls with his face close to the door so he can be heard. "Please, just open the door, let's talk."

"Hyung, please stop." We hear him yell from the other side of the door "I don't want to talk or see anyone."

His voice is cracking and it's more than obvious that he's been crying. My heart aches instantly, how much does he have to be hurting to lock himself inside his room like this?

Yeonjun turns and looks at me, concern filling his whole face.

"How am I supposed to get inside if it's locked?" I ask, starting to feel the frustration taking over me. Yeonjun slides his hand inside his pocket, pulling some keys out and inserting them in the door lock.

I knit my brows together as he stares at me, waiting to open it for me.

"This is how you will get inside."

"But if you had the keys all this time, why didn't you just open and get inside?"

He shakes his head.

"He would get mad at me and kick me out, but he will never do that to you."

"How do you know that?" I ask, feeling the nervousness in the pitch of my stomach at the thought. He smiles, placing his hand on my head.

"I just know it." He assures "Now get inside."

Without another word, he unlocks the door and opens it for me, pushing me slightly until I enter the room and closes the door behind my back. I feel a knot on my throat, the room is dark and the only light that can be seen is the natural sunlight through the windows.

"I said I didn't want to see anyone!" He raises his voice, sounding heartbreakingly hurt. He stands up from the floor where he was sitting, his body language screaming how tense he is.

However, when his gaze meets with mine, his face softens. He looks puzzled, his eyes are puffy and red just like his nose is from crying. I already feel my soul shattering into pieces.