When The Nights Get Long

Late Nights

It was three in the morning. Andrew sent a few texts sporadically throughout the night to make sure Blue was alright, each one Aiden responded to on their behalf. "He seems to be getting exceedingly worried over you," he murmured as he laid back down on the blanket.

Blue cuddled their naked body back on top of him. He kissed their forehead and ran his fingers along their spine. "Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"Because you live with him," he snickered. "He's going to care about you. You are Luke's emmer, and he has always cared about you in some way." He pouted at them. "Sorry it's not the way you want him to."

"I honestly don't even know the way I want him to love me," they admitted.

"But you just-"

"I will admit that I love the way he makes me feel. I haven't felt innocent love like this since Hayden. It's just...what am I supposed to do with him? I honestly have no clue if becoming his partner is what I want. It's the love he gives me that I don't want him to get rid of. It's pure and innocent. He makes me feel pure and innocent, and I don't want that to stop. Does that automatically mean I have to love him, or does that mean I can be with someone else while still receiving that feeling from him?"

"I mean, if you are wanting to gain that sort of feeling from him while you date someone else...pretty sure that's called cheating," he cringed.

"No, no, not like that. It's like a friend with benefits sort of thing until I find the real- What the hell am I saying? I don't need another you," they groaned, hiding their face in his chest. "I'm just saying stupid shit I shouldn't even be saying. He doesn't even want me in that way."

"Doesn't he, though?" Aiden questioned.

"No."

"Just hear me out," he stated as he shifted to lay on his side. "He's always kissing your cheek and touching you. Yeah, that could be viewed as a weird, creepy sign from a guy, but you said he has not done anything to make you uncomfortable, and if you want him to stop, he stops. It seems like he's trying to test the boundaries with you-"

"To see how far inappropriate is," they deadpanned.

"But what if it's so he can figure out what you like versus don't like so he can date you?"

"No."

"But what if he likes you?"

"Absolutely not."

"But if it is true? Then what?"

That was a possibility Blue did not want to imagine. What if Andrew did like them? Then what? How was a man who had spent a decade in love with their brother supposed to be able to get rid of all those feelings and suddenly fall in love with them instead? It wasn't logical. If Andrew were to stop being in love with Luke, it would take longer than eight months.

Eight months may have seemed a like a long time, but part of Blue still wasn't over Hayden. While the majority of them was, they still held onto a tiny shred of hope that one day he would return to fall in love with them all over again, to carry out the vow he had promised the day before he left without warning. It had been almost two years since then.

No matter what, Andrew still had a part of him that was in love with Luke. How large that part was, Blue wasn't sure. It could have been all of him, it could have been almost none of him. But eight months was not enough time to get over a ten-year long love, even if it was one-sided and Andrew knew it wouldn't go anywhere. Falling out of love was supposed to take time. And if it was taking Blue forever to stop loving a man they were with for only two years, how could Andrew have moved on even quicker?